Whether or not the relationship is meant to be,
a love relationship is literally the finest “life-class” on who you are and what you are capable of doing/experiencing. Rather than ruminate over what didn’t work out or what happened in a romance, take a step back and figure out what lessons you can take for the future.
Here are four lessons that I’ve learned in my romantic relationships. I’d love to hear your love-life lessons in the comments below.
Though this post speaks to women for matters of simplicity, these lessons apply to men in a heterosexual relationship and same-sex couples.
4 Lessons About Men: Guidance For Women Of All Ages
1. Figure out what you really need before getting involved.
It’s so important to choose a man or woman who shows up for you in the ways that are important to you. Rather than waiting around to figure out who shows up, take initiative and write down what you know you need. Examine relationships that did not work out, and identify what you realized you need moving forward.
Don’t pick a man because he is handsome, or you think his job is sexy. Sit down and make a list of the things you need in a partner. Do you need a:
- man who is emotionally present?
- woman supports herself through her own income?
- partner who shares your religious values?
What is important to you might not be important to someone else, so don’t feel pressured when other people make comments about your needs.
Once you figure this out, don’t waste your time with the partners who can’t give you what you need. Focus your valuable energy on letting the right partner in.
2. Your trust in a partner should be earned.
When we fall in love, it’s so easy to paint a picture in our heads about who that person is, what his values are, and of course, what our future together will be like. When we do this, we do not allow a man to earn a place in our lives.
A man earns his place through his consideration, his follow-through, and his honesty. Likewise, a man will appreciate a place in your heart if he’s earned his right to be there.
Again, the same applies for women and same-sex couples.
3. Don’t judge a man by his clothes.
Some women love when men wear nice shoes, crisp jeans, or drives a BMW. But honestly, this is a terrible way to choose a partner. When evaluating your attraction to a man (or woman), you should judge his character, not his possessions.
Seriously, would you rather have a handsome man dressed in Ralph Lauren who is untruthful? Or a man who puts gas in your car and wears a baseball cap?
4. Your man is your most intimate teacher.
Relationships are intensely personal. With our husbands or boyfriends, we able to express very private parts of ourselves, our insecurities, and our sexuality.
Use the opportunity to learn more about who you truly are.
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