Love & Life Romance & Relationships

4 Ways To Know: Are You An Option Or A Priority In Your Relationship?

Are you trying to access where you stand in your relationship? There are a number of factors that play into this. However, in finding out the truth, you must put aside any fairytale ideas you have of love to hone in on what your reality is.   

Listed below are some of the ways you can distinguish whether you’re an option or a priority in your relationship. If you find that none of these are your reality, run! Run as if your life depends on it, because your time does and you might have wasted a lot of it already.

By: Erika Hunter

Earlier this week, the editors posed the question: How do you know if you’re an option or a priority in your relationship? Many of you agree that if you’re a priority, he will make time for you.

He Makes Time For You

When a man makes time for you, he is suggesting that you are a valuable asset to his life. You’ll find that wants to spend time with you and be included in your day. When the two of you spend time together, he doesn’t make it about himself, but about you. He asks questions about your day and how he might make it better if it isn’t a good one. When he listens to you and his phone rings, he intentionally ignores it. Unless it’s a very important phone call, he remains there putting you and your feelings first. 


Shutting the rest of the world out to make the most of his time with you.

When you’re a priority, he doesn’t make the excuse of being too busy to communicate with you. He understands that his day functions better when you’re a part of it. If his schedule is a little busier than normal, he tells you. He doesn’t go the whole day without checking on you, or making you feel important (as you are). Since he recognizes your worth, he invests in you, even when his time is limited. 

It’s All About You

He asks questions like, “What do you want to eat?” He might have a craving for Popeyes, but if you say you want Louisana Fried Chicken, the two of you are eating there.


“What movie do you want to see?” Your partner just saw the trailer for the new Denzel movie and really wants to see it, but because you prefer to sit in the house and watch Netflix movies, he goes along with it. 

He sometimes compromises his desires for yours if it means making you happy. He isn’t doing this so much to win you over, but to show you that he wants what you want. Your desires are equally important to him as they are to you and he will contribute to them however he can. He won’t guilt you for making him eat something he didn’t want, or watch a movie he wasn’t interested in.

Your partner has fun doing and participating in what gets your attention. 

Additionally, he refrains from bringing up other women around you. When it’s all about you, he doesn’t resort to his past and carry on conversations with any of his previous partners or relationships. He has ended any and all of his past relationships to pursue a full time one with you. Your partner understands that the only way to do so is by giving you a sense of security.

Security is built on trust and communication, which are two of the qualities he possesses well if you’re a priority. 

A few important lessons in love.

He Includes You In His Plans

Say he has a jam-packed weekend. Well, he doesn’t want to go it alone. Instead of missing a few days with you, or having only a limited amount of time to talk to you, he invites you to be a part of it. Whether it’s his company’s retreat, or his family’s reunion, he invites you to join him. He is actually excited for you to meet his co-workers or his family (which is a huge deal, ladies).

Five Signs That Your Love Is Meant To Be

Not only does he include you in his plans, but he includes you in his decision-making process. He bounces ideas off of you and asks for your opinion to get more of a well rounded perspective. Also, he realizes that improvement is possible and can happen with the support of someone he values. He looks to you for help in his time of need. When you offer solutions to his problems, he reconstructs his plan with the consideration to your suggestions.  

You’ll Have A Label

Priorities have labels. You aren’t just (insert your name here) to him. When you’re a priority, you are different from the other members of his social group. If he’s doing all of the above, it is safe to say that he has feelings for you (or he’s a gentlemen). Either way, a conversation must be had on where the two of you are headed from here.

Is your relationship ready for the next step?

If he is committed to you and only wants to be with you, you should be the “progressive girlfriend.” The progressive girlfriend is the girlfriend who rises farther up the ladder as the relationship blossoms. Pretty soon, you’ll be the wife. And the wife, my friend, is the ultimate priority.

How do you know if you’re the option or the priority in your relationship? Share with us in the comments below!

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