In Season 1 of “Hit the Floor,” a slew of relationships fell apart as countless new flings ignited.
And in Season 2, we certainly expect more hot flings to emerge, perhaps some between old lovers. We’ll have to watch Hit The Floor to find out!
In the meantime, let’s talk about you.
Are you or have you ever considered getting back with an old flame?
Chances are, you probably thought about it. Well, you’re not alone! Sixty-two percent of us would consider getting back together with a former lover.
But before you go texting or Facebook messaging your ex, here are four questions to ask yourself before pulling out that little black book.
1. Is your ex dating someone new?
If he or she is dating someone else, then it is possible that your attempt to get back with your former partner is a selfish attempt to reclaim what you see has slipped away.
Any attempt to stand between your old flame and his new love interest is selfish (and reeks of desperation).
It’s time to move on.
2. Are you separating fantasy from reality?
Okay, so your ex is not seeing anyone seriously, and is technically available. Maybe you two are still friends. But it’s time to separate the daydreams from the hard, cold facts.
- Was he emotionally unavailable?
- Did she cheat on you?
- Was the distance too much of a burden?
While there might have been some truly wonderful aspects of your relationship, there was a reason why you broke up. Be honest about those facts, and recognize that they probably won’t change. Read these lessons in love to help you decide.
3. Are you really just feeling lonely?
If you’re trying to get back with your old flame, and there was a solid reason for the breakup, then it’s a possibility that your longing for him or her is actually a reflection of loneliness.
Loneliness is nothing to be ashamed of.
Psychologist John T. Cacioppo explains that feeling lonely is a cognitive signal that your social needs are not being properly met. Prolonged isolation can lead to cognitive impairment and emotional distress. Human beings are mammals. As a result, we need compassionate relationships to function properly.
If you live alone, perhaps it’s time to get a roommate. Or if you have not dated, maybe it’s time to set up a profile on a dating site.
More on KimberlyElise.com: Life Coach Kevin A. Johnson shares 5 Conscious Dating Tips Here.
If you want to get back with a partner because of loneliness, recognize that there is a real reason why you broke up. And taking an ex back might not be the best way to solve the deeper issue in your life.
4. Have you spent enough time working on yourself?
When you say goodbye to an important figure in your life, you lose an important part of your identity.
Now it’s time to build a new you. You are finally free to reconstruct your sense of self, and build the kind of life that you want. No need to make compromises! On the nights that you spent in with your ex, you are now free to go to the gym. Those long hours you spent with your ex on the weekends can be dedicated to your hobbies.
In time, a newer, upgraded you shall emerge.
5. Have you listened to their side?
If you’ve taken the steps to ensure that your attempt to get back with an ex is not an act of dependency or insecurity, and you sincerely feel that your relationship is not over, then perhaps it is worth a conversation with your ex.
Listen to his or her side.
See if he or she is sincerely ready to move into a new space with you, not a repetition of the past.
And if you need some advice, here are five signs that your love is meant to be.
Have you ever contacted an old flame and started up a relationship? What happened? Share with us in the comments!
Tune in to Season 2 of Hit the Floor to find out how old flames and new romances play out in the Devil’s arena.
Images Source: VH1