Natural Hair Romance & Relationships

Why I Adore Your Kinky Curls: A Love Note To Naturals

 

What Men Think Of Kinky Hair

Photo Source: Glenford Nunez

“Do you love your hair, baby?”

That’s a question I ask my wife often.

It usually comes at those times when I see the frustration on her face, the frustration of combing through a thick head of hair and trying to style it in a way that is presentable to the eyes of the general public.

My wife is a black woman who wears her hair naturally. It’s been free of perms and weaves since 2011, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. After my wife went natural, I began to notice a growing trend: more and more black women were doing the same. While they were rediscovering their bodies, their authentic beauty, I was discovering what has now become my undying love for afro-textured hair.

What she sometimes dislikes about her hair, I adore.

It’s my mother’s hair. It’s the hair that her sisters wear. It is the hair of their daughters.

It’s the variety of styles and textures that isn’t as prevalent for women of other ethnicities.

It’s being able to freely run my fingers through it, knowing that they will get tangled in there. It’s the pleasure I get from gently unwinding my fingers from  my wife’s curly mane, since pulling them out too fast would not be good for her scalp or my eardrums.

It’s the defiance of mainstream society’s beauty standards and embracing our own.

Whether it’s dreads, twists, knots, braids, afros, or Caesar’s cuts – or 4A, 4B, or 4C, I love it all. Kinky. Thick. Nappy. Real.

About 10 years ago, when my wife and I were dating, we were caught outside in a heavy rain. The rain didn’t bother me because I spent many days under rain-soaked skies during my time in the military.

For my wife, however, it was a terrible situation, and she ran inside as quickly as possible. The damage had already been done, though….




Once her hair dried, the aftermath was unsightly – at least that is what I believed at the time in ignorance. I teased her and made a lot of mean-spirited, albeit innocent statements about the nappiness of her hair.

If only hot tub time machines were real so that I could go back and smack my former self.

Of course, nowadays, she doesn’t mind getting her hair wet. I don’t even think she owns a shower cap, which is ironic since they were all over the place when we first married six years ago.

At times, I walk in on her in the bathroom with a flatiron in her hand. Like a police negotiator in a hostage situation, I calmly persuade her to put the flatiron down.

But to no avail. I walk away defeated as my wife leaves for work with a head full of straightened hair.





Fortunately for me, Mother Nature does her thing, and my wife’s hair naps back up before the end of the day thanks to the humidity of the North Carolina sun, our emotions from the morning now reversed.

Only now, instead of teasing, I’m doing the Carlton Banks dance, while scheming on a way to make her flatiron disappear or malfunction without suspicion coming back to me.

Let’s hope she doesn’t read this. At the end of the day, women should feel free to wear their hair however they like regardless of my opinion or anyone else’s. Just know that there are men out there, such as me, who love the hair that came with the scalp more than the hair that came with the receipt.

 

About Boyd C. George

Inspired by greats such as Richard Wright, James Baldwin, and Gordon Parks, Boyd C. George is a writer and photographer from Tappahannock, Virginia. He currently lives in Charlotte, North Carolina. You can find him on Facebook and Google+.

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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Marlene Dillon
    October 6, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    I LOVED THIS! There a few things greater than coming to accept yourself and finding someone who loves your return to natural even more than you do. So beautiful. – Marlene Dillon, author of I’m Proud to Be Natural Me!

  • Reply
    Lauren Stone
    September 21, 2014 at 8:17 am

    I LOVE hearing the support for natural hair by Black men. Though not necessary, this support truly helps us sistas gain a more positive view on our hair and ourselves. It may have a huge impact on those adjusting to the transition, including being real and accepting of your hair. This natural movement may stick around longer this time than it did in the 70’s. But the true test of its longevity will depend on the community support and most of all the love of black women for themselves and their sistas.

  • Reply
    Shirley Y. Nichols
    September 19, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    This page is great It has the type of information I’m looking for for my kinky hair. I was surprised to learn about salons that are local to my state.

  • Reply
    Cheryl
    September 19, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Love it and his support of his wife’s natural beauty is awesome!

  • Reply
    Annette
    September 19, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    Im havn such a hard time transitioninng to natural hair, please help!! Im half hispanic n half african american my hair is curly nappy.. Im 42 i used to perm my hair for 30yrs of my life. It wasnt until last year i realized i dont need a perm but the damage was done. A wash n set n im good. Now i twist it up on some nites when im not lazy n wear it out. But it just keeps breakn off especially in middle help, im ready to perm it aagain.:((((

    • Reply
      Intersectionality
      February 21, 2015 at 5:35 am

      Hello, fellow AfroLatina 🙂
      YouTube has many videos of natural hair ladies who give advice when it comes to proper hair care & what things to avoid in order to not sabotage our hair growth and its health.
      Try using Jamaican Black Castor Oil for hair loss, but make sure to consult a physician to make sure your health isn’t at risk because at times it can be a sign of something else (don’t want to scare you, but it’s good to seek help by someone who can help you better). I hope this helped.
      Be blessed <3

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