Love & Life Romance & Relationships

Does He Love You If He Cheats? How to Get Through Infidelity

Attractive couple not talking on the couch

I was in love with a cheater. Madly, deeply, in “we-should-spend-a-lifetime-together” love kind of love. Even after he admitted to cheating on me, I stayed with him.

Did I believe he loved me? Yes. Was I the most naïve, insecure chick with no backbone? Probably. But either way, I felt he loved me more than most of the guys I dated before and after him.

Does He Love You If He Cheats? How to Get Through Infidelity

By: Toni elleax Zargari

The question, “Does he love me if he cheats?” is not an easy one. When as much as 57% of men admit that they have cheated and another 74% say they would if they knew they wouldn’t get caught, it makes finding a partner who honors monogamy quite the task. If infidelity is a problem in your relationship, is it meant to be?When it comes to relationships, it’s never black and white. There’s gray, yellow, red, and every damn color mixed in between.

Today I asked my husband the big question and he flat-out answered, “NO!”

A few seconds later he changed his mind and said, “yes.”

What?! 

For most of us, the issue of infidelity is as confusing as my husband’s answer.

After gathering his thoughts, he clarified by saying, “If he cheats, he may love you, but he’s not in love with you.”

Take his word for it.




He cheated on all of his eight girlfriends. This is even more confusing, because my husband claims he was once in love with them all. As his wife and the only woman he’s ever been faithful to, I’m thinking, “What on Earth have I gotten myself into?” Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure my problems out later… now back to the question.

Read the article If Your Love Is Meant To Be He’ll Come Back Around. Here’s Why

her-fancy-side-cheating-black-man

Infidelity hurts. If someone loves you, why would they do something to hurt you?

Again, there’s no solid answer here. Maybe they’re bored or bat-crap-crazy. In any case, don’t rattle your brain trying to figure out WHY your partner cheated. The fact remains that they did. There’s no telling if you’ll ever have peace of mind even after you get an answer. Truth is, no answer is good enough to justify cheating.

If he cheated, there’s a chance it may work.

My college bf admitted to cheating on me once and I’m pretty certain that it never happened again. This, of course, doesn’t excuse his betrayal, but after we talked it out and both cried for days, weeks even, we resolved to stay together. This is not unusual. In fact, as much as 31% of marriages last after one spouse admits to cheating, according to a 2015 report by the Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

It may be a one-time thing.

Though moving on after he cheats can be very difficult and may not be worth your time, dignity, or effort, there’s a chance that the dirty deed was a one-time thing. If you decide that you can trust your partner after he cheats, try giving it a go again. If after a few months, you find that the damage is beyond repair, by all means, pack up your things or leave his stuff in a “box to the left.”

The infidelity may have nothing to do with you.

Even drop-dead-gorgeous women with tons of cash and fame get cheated on: Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock, Christina Milian, and recently, Iggy Azalea, to name a few. A cheater will cheat. End of story.

In the case that he does love you, is love really enough?

Just because your partner still loves you after his betrayal, it may not be enough to carry the relationship through the trenches into repair. Sometimes cheating causes irreversible damage that breaks the bonds of trust.

If you feel there’s no way in high water that you’d be able to trust your partner again, end the relationship.

Don’t make any excuses for him. If being with this person makes you feel insecure or if you find yourself going through his phone looking for a Tinder profile or on-the-low text messages, call it quits.
No person is worth your sanity or your dignity.
The answer to the question, “Does he love you if he cheats?” may not even need an answer. All you need is enough love for yourself to figure out what to do next.




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Image source: Herfancyside.com & Fame Magazine

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