Let’s be real: things are mixed up in the twenty-first century when it comes to gender roles.
Women in America can do anything: we can be bus drivers, executives, or homemakers, and it’s no big deal. Some argue that this dynamic helps to create a more stable home environment, while others argue that it makes society more unstable. You can read more about it here.
By: Ajableu Oldham
Regardless of how you might feel, I can certainly say that the gender equality shift has made dating confusing….
Women are faced with questions that our grandmothers knew the answers to. But times are different for the modern heterosexual woman. Dating can be tough. However, after a decade of first-date errors, I think I’ve cracked some basic codes that I’m happy to divulge.
Here are a few tips to help you, a woman looking for love, tap into your feminine energy on your next date.
1. Take Your Hands Off The Wheel
When you’re tapping into your feminine energy, let him be the driver. I mean that quite literally: if you’re riding together, don’t drive.
Just sit back and relax. The alpha-male of your dreams will likely feel uncomfortable with you driving him around in the beginning – like you’re his mom driving him to soccer practice.
He drives you.
In fact, don’t be afraid to ask to be picked up by your date. This one is hard for me personally, because it feels so Boy-Meets-World ’90s. You can just order a Lyft!
But think about it: men who have worked hard are very proud of their cars. They will do anything to jump in their car and pick up a beautiful woman. Let him!
2. Let Him Choose The Location
Wait! Before your start yelling at me, read on.
Men don’t want to feel like they’re being strung around like a purse. And they certainly don’t want to feel like they are the 15th guy buying you dinner at your favorite fancy restaurant.
So, when your next Tinder or Hinge date asks where you’d like to go, simply say, “I’m open.”
However, if you’re vegetarian or don’t like pasta, mention that too.
3. Smile & Listen
Here’s a funny story:
I went on a date with a financial executive last year in West Hollywood. I enjoy learning about finance and wanted to pick his brain about building a portfolio. But being a bit of a show-off, I challenged his knowledge with information that I had read.
The spirited conversation digressed to physics (another topic I enjoy reading about), and I continued to show off…
He said, “There’s a great quote by Einstein. I think he said… God… God…”
“‘God doesn’t throw dice,'” I finished the quote for him.
He shut his mouth, gulped, and looked at me blankly. I killed the attraction with my need to verbally spar. We were probably incompatible for a few reasons…
However, after that date, I made a mental note to not compete so much.
Dating Tip: A feminine woman knows how to let the right man feel like a real man.
This isn’t to say that you should allow him to Mansplain everything and interrupt and belittle you. No, no.
However, there’s nothing wrong with just allowing your man to show off his knowledge and his experience in topics that are within his wheelhouse. If he wants to break down how a car works, let him do it (even if your dad already explained it). You’re just helping him feel good about himself.
4. Ask Questions
Men love to talk about what they are passionate about. And men also feel surprisingly insecure. I think we’d be shocked to discover how unconfident some men can feel on the inside.
By asking questions about his expertise, you allow him to feel a natural sense of confidence and respect. Hopefully, this chemistry happens organically, so that you are genuinely curious about topics he loves talking about.
A great way to figure out what he’s passionate about is to find out what he studied in college. If he’s traveled, where has he gone extensively? Or, what does he do on his spare time?
When he tells you the answer, simply say, “Wow, that’s really cool!”
Then watch his eyes glimmer.
Some women are probably rolling their eyes, but understand that you’re just helping him to feel confident. He faces a lot of pressure to be cool and masculine. Being with you should make him feel effortlessly manly.
And by asking questions, you’re paving the way for deeper feelings of attraction and chemistry. *wink*
5. Let Him Pay & Say Thank you.
This one is hard for me personally. I feel really uncomfortable with the bill comes to the table. Sometimes I go to the bathroom to avoid the whole thing. I mean, do I reach? Do I just sit there and smile? Ahhh!
Dating Tip: On the first date, let him take care of it.
And then say thank you. Always say thank you!
6. Before Your Date, Get A Manicure.
I know that this is obvious, but men really love it when women have clean, groomed nails. You’ll never fail to entice a date with your French manicure.
It’s something that men generally don’t do. Therefore, they enjoy playing out their own femininity vicariously through us. Additionally, it also signals purity and cleanliness in ways that are subliminal and arousing.
If you’re experienced doing your own nails at home, by all means, save a buck! I personally like to be pampered for my date.
7. Stay Positive & Be Friendly
Really try to keep the tone of your conversation and your mood uplifting and sweet. If you have negative energy, leave it on the street.
Allow yourself to laugh, it’s your hottest move.
A positive, friendly attitude is the number one way to seduce any man. Therefore, stay away from topics that might make you feel sad or emotional – save that for when you know each other better.
We share some tips on how you can use body language during your date here.
8. Invest In Your Sexual Body
This is an extension of number 6: You have to think of your body as an investment that you’re nurturing and caring for… Something that is earned after many days or weeks or months of patience and persistence from him.
Make sure you’re incorporating these three stretching exercises in your workout.
Once you begin to take your body seriously, you’ll notice a shift in your own mindset, and therefore the quality of men you date.
You’ll find yourself thinking, “I am spending way too much time at the gym to be fooling around with this guy.”
You work hard to take care of and groom yourself in ways that men don’t even know about. He is privileged to enjoy the company of that investment.
Share your first-date faux-pas in the comments below. We love to read them!
And if you want more advice, certified Life Coach Kevin A. Johnson also shares his 5 Conscious Dating Tips here.
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Image Source: Lais Ribeiro via WeHeartIt.com