Can true love really be found online in this day and age? You know like, love love? I’m a natural skeptic, but with so many dating sites and apps pushing happy couples on the beach to the single-and-looking, one must wonder, “Can this work for me?”
When it comes to online dating and even more so when it comes to long-term love, there’s much to doubt. I’m testament, however, that if done properly, you can find at least one decent person on the internet.
I found three. Those relationships didn’t last, of course, so one would assume that relationships that start from a swipe right, will fail.
Surprisingly, this is not always the case.
Do This if You Want to Find Love Online
Photo By: Tim Stief
According to recent studies, more than one third of U.S. marriages begin with online dating.
This is comforting if you’re one of those new age, free-spirit, meet-a-stranger-at-a-coffee-shop type of girls.
I’m one of those girls.
The three relationships I had that sprung from digital interaction did not make it to the alter, but most of them lasted two years or more. I’m now happily married and have a beautiful baby girl. And guess what? We technically met on Craigslist!
So what’s the catch? How do you succeed at finding love online? Whether you’re looking for a passionate summer love or a long-time commitment, there are ways to beat the game and get what you want out of a dotcom kind of love. Here’s what you need to know.
It’s a numbers game.
Trying to find someone worth your time online really comes down to the numbers. But when you don’t have a lot of time, can you really spend your nights and weekends going on dates with as many people as possible? Not likely. In this digital numbers game, think quality over quantity.
“The average woman will kiss 15 men, enjoy two long-term relationships and have her heartbroken twice before she meets ‘The One’,” a recent study reveals.
Because this is a numbers game and heartbreak is inevitable, the best way to go about this is to
know what you want before you date just anyone.
Be specific, take some time to write down the qualities you want in a significant other, if you want it to be a fling or if you want something long term. Knowing what you want will help you filter out the garbage that can flood online dating sites and apps.
Photo By: Atlas Green
Have fun with it.
The summer before I met my husband I was wilding out on Tinder, partying in Vegas, and clubbing in Beverly Hills. I met a guy from Saudi Arabia and swore he was The One I was going to marry. I even wrote and recorded a song in honor of our summer love. A few months later and in typical crush-your-heart fashion, I finally came to terms that this guy was not going to fly me to the middle east. We would not spend winters in Dubai. Nada. No happily ever after there.
Had I took the relationship for what it was, I would have just had fun with it and not have taken it so seriously. My heart would have stayed in tact. With online dating it’s best to have fun with it until the relationship truly presents itself as something serious for both people involved. Read “Five Signs That Your Love is Meant to Be” to determine if you’ll have a lasting relationship.
Be safe & double or group date.
There’s nothing more naive than meeting a stranger online and not playing it safe. The best way to stay safe is to let a friend or family member know who you’re going out with and when to expect you home. You should leave the name and phone number to any dates with a trusted friend.
Some people even go so far as to take down the license plate of their date and text it to a friend while meeting someone for the first time. You never know and you can never be too safe.
Photo By: Priscilla Westra
Another way to go about this is to double or group date when meeting someone from online. Try doing a bonfire or taking a painting class with one of your friends and your dates.
Once you feel comfortable enough, go solo.
Do your research.
Find out everything you can about the person you’re dating online as possible. Check out their social media pages; everything from Facebook to LinkedIn can tell you a lot about a person. If their pages are private, request them as a friend and start snooping around.
When looking at the way they present themselves online, ask yourself, “Is this someone I’d like to get to know?” If he or she is always shown drinking, partying, or posts things that you fundamentally don’t agree with, it’s likely that you’ll clash in the future if you ignore the signs now.
You can find out if a person is married, dating someone else, recently out a relationship, if they are educated, etc. from just reading things from a person’s profile. This info is valuable. Use it to determine whether your date is worth pursuing.
Do your research and get to know the person before taking your online summer love to the next step.
Photo By: Nathan Walker
Try celibacy. Actually, don’t give your cookie to anyone.
For some, abstaining from the deed is easy, for others a barefoot run on hot rocks. I recommend celibacy not just for spiritual or religious reasons, but because giving yourself physically to someone too soon or too often can lead to major heartbreak should the relationship end. I was celibate before marrying my husband and that may had something to do with the fact that he asked me to marry him.
I cherished my body and heart and ultimately, he had to as well.
This advice may not work for every one, but if you haven’t tried this already there’s no harm. Check out “If Your Love is Meant to Be, He’ll Come Back and Here’s Why” if you broke up with someone and wonder if it’ll work out in the end.
Choose the right dating app for your goals.
If you’re looking for something serious, apps like Tinder and Plenty of Fish will most likely disappoint. Don’t use “hookup apps” when looking for true love as many of the dates you’ll find on these types of apps are looking for a good time only. And vice-versa — if you’re looking for a short summer love, don’t waste your time or money signing up for paid dating sites like Match.com.
It’s best to become familiar with the reputation each online dating site or app has and determine if you can find what you’re looking for from that source.
There’s a dating app or website for pretty much every demographic in America. With sites like Christian Mingle, Black People Meet, eHarmony and tons of others, you can really get specific in attracting the relationship you want.
Do you think you can find true love online? Where did you meet your current love? Comment below 🙂