You’re in love. Or so you think. How can you tell if the one your heart beats for is the one? Is it meant to be?
After marrying a close friend of mine with whom I had no initial attraction, I learned that destiny is a lot more powerful that we think. I tried to weasel my way out of love (for reasons I’ll get into later), but the old adage deemed true– if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Here are five signs that your relationship is meant to be.
1. You’re Best Friends First, Lovers Second
When a relationship is based primarily on romantic love rather than deep-rooted friendship with romance as a cherry on top, it can fade away as time goes on. In a long-lasting relationship, friendship can be the most important factor because it is like the Krazy Glue that binds two people together when things start to break and the cracks begin to show.
If you are best friends with your lover, you’ll be there for each other through the thick and thin. Sure, you’ll have your disagreements and even a few fallouts over the years, but in a true friendship, you’ll be able to withstand it all.
Many times throughout my marriage, being friends with my husband was the only thing that kept us from sabotaging our relationship or bringing up the “D” word. Whenever we wanted to do or say things to hurt each other’s feelings, we remembered that we were each other’s friend first, lovers second. We’d ask ourselves, “Is this how we would treat a friend?” If the answer was “no,” we tossed the behavior out and returned to a more loving state.
2. You Passed the Test of Time
If your relationship passed the probation period, the honeymoon phase, or a few decades, it’s probably meant to be. Time has a way of healing and revealing much. With time, you can find out if the person you’re in love with is really the person you think they are, inside and out. If the time you have spent with your loved one is mostly filled with love and good times, and if you two still love each other within that time, it can be a sign that you’re destined to work out.
3. You Defeated the Odds & Naysayers
When a relationship is meant to be, no one and nothing can tear it apart. Whether you’re complete opposites in race, religion, or socio-economic status, when it comes to true love, odds do not matter.
When my husband and I first were married, his parents refused to talk to him for months. The silent treatment? Yes, they gave him the silent treatment as a way to say “we do not approve.” Despite the fact that he and I are of different ethnicities and his family did not approve of us initially, eventually, the naysayers faded and his family came around. If it’s meant to be, you’ll beat the odds.
4. It’s Not Just Physical Attraction
Relationships that are built on a solid foundation of love, friendship, and respect are said to last longer and are stronger than those solely developed on physical attraction. True, you should be attracted to your mate, but it should not be the basis of your relationship. In fact, if your relationship is based mainly on physical attraction it is doomed to be flame-turned-fizzle.
5. A Force Beyond Your Control Pulls You
If you both feel your love is a match made in heaven, it probably is. The universe has a way of pulling people together that are meant to be. How do you know? Even a wild pack of wolves wouldn’t be able to pull you apart. If there is any doubt about whether you’re meant to be, ask, pray, wait. Time will tell.
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