Love & Life Romance & Relationships Single-dom

How To Get Your Groove Back This Summer

So, Stella got her groove back. Now, how can you?

Well, it’s rather simple. You first have to believe that you can get back out there. Like Stella, you can’t allow your age (or situation) to keep you from following your heart. Stella persisted in love and so should you.

By: Erika Hunter

How Stella Got Her Grove BackIn persisting, however, you have to be cautious of your intention.

Do you want love because it’s the latest trend on social media? Or, are you genuinely ready to build a life with a partner?

To find out, you first have to know who you are, what your desires are, and how you might add value to someone else’s life. If you are unaware of these things, you might have to book a vacation (like Stella did) and test your luck elsewhere.

I’m kidding.

But for those of you who have seen the movie, you’re probably thinking that a vacation to experience something (or someone) new isn’t a bad idea.  

Though I’m an advocate for vacationing, I don’t think that’s your solution. Please be advised that your story is likely uniquely different from Stella’s. However, as your story develops, keep in mind that you are also capable of winning someone over. 


Regardless of where you are in your personal journey, you are a catch!  

It doesn’t matter whether you got it right or not the last time you were in an intimate relationship. The last time isn’t this time, so don’t make the mistake of bringing the past into your present, and especially not into your future. 

This is for those of you who have just gotten out of a relationship, or haven’t dated in a while.  I understand what it feels like to want to throw in the towel when it comes to love. I, too, have been in situations that caused me to reject love altogether.

However, I’ve come to understand that love isn’t defined by your last encounter with it. 

You can recreate what love means to you and how it ought to look with you. If you care to build (and I mean truly build) a life with someone, let’s start there.

Breakups are messy. Learn how you can get over yours by reading The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide To Getting Over Your Breakup.

Make a list of what your ideal love relationship looks like.

Go over your list and ask yourself whether you are that love. In other words, you should have all of the attributes you’re looking for in a man. If not, refine your list.

If you’re anything like me, this might be a tough pill to swallow. I remember being told this exact same thing and thinking that I’d never get it right with anyone. But this isn’t true for me, nor for you.

Real love not only requires, but it gives as well. Remember this.

If you want someone who is compassionate, but you aren’t, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Repeat after me:

I cannot expect what I am not willing to give.

How did that feel?

You have to believe that you are worthy of love. But, you also have to give what you wish to get.

How does that put you back on the market?  Well, when you identify these desirable attributes and you start to put them into practice for yourself, you build your self-confidence. As a result, you become happier and exude a natural energy that prompts you to focus more on yourself and your goals. After a while, you may find that you no longer feel you need validation from any outside source.

Trying to make a fresh start? Start a vision board to help you visualize your dreams.

Once you begin the process of bettering who you are for your own sake, people will recognize it and begin to gravitate toward you.

This is the key to getting your groove back. Believe me, working on you works. Besides, you want to be your best self when it’s time to start dating, anyway. Whether that is tomorrow for you, or three years from now, you have to love yourself enough to accept the reality of your situation.

Okay, so now you’ve identified some qualities that you need to work on. You get to it and you exude that natural glow. But, you still haven’t attracted anyone.

Well Stella, you can’t do all of this self-improvement in the house and expect results.

Get out there and show it off!

Leave the house feeling good about your improvement and allow it to speak for itself. Regardless of whether he comes knocking later than you anticipated, he will be there. Ready to love you because of how well you have loved you.

Stella, you do this and you have already gotten your groove back. You ARE the groove.

The groove isn’t necessarily finding a spouse, it’s finding you to prepare you for the journey of sharing your life with another.

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