“We’re taking a break.”
A “break” in a relationship always seems to predict impending doom. It comes with a slew of questions, doubts, and if you’re being honest, fear. You may be overcome with worry about if and how you’ll find your way back to one another or what might happen if you don’t.
I’m reminded of two friends of mine, Josiah and Andrea, who decided a break was the best option after six months of committed dating. With careful thought and consideration, the pair decided that taking time apart was the best solution.
We didn’t choose to separate because we “fell out of love,” or because we were bored with each other. We separated because we knew we needed a new start with each other and to begin things with more intentionality the next time around. – Andrea
Couples decide to press the pause button on their relationships for a wide scope of reasons, some of which include moving, big life changes, amount of time spent with one another, and prioritization challenges. No matter the reason, a break in a relationship doesn’t have to be the beginning of the end.
A break can be an opportunity for growth, revelation, and enlightenment.
Instead of being consumed with worry, doubt, and anxiety, press on.
Ask yourself: what does your life’s purpose look like? What are some areas of your life that need attention and care? How can you take time during a break to assess your growth as a person?
Reflecting as an individual can impact your understanding of your relationship. Strong relationships are formed when both individuals are honest about themselves and the state of their hearts.
Throughout their dating relationship, Andrea and Josiah were raw and transparent in their quest to be healthy and whole mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I had a myriad of insecurities and personal pains that I wasn’t dealing with and Josiah had intense personal struggles and pains he was not dealing with… we decided that letting go of each other was the best thing we could do to heal and grow in that time. – Andrea
If your love is true and steadfast, a break has the power to strengthen the relationship, not hinder it.
Is your relationship meant to be? Check out 5 Signs That Your Love Is Meant To Be.
Couples like Josiah and Andrea understood the weight of a decision to commit and invest in each other and such a commitment isn’t to be taken lightly. Instead, powerful, growing couples carry that commitment with care, grace, and intentionality.
Meaningful relationships are created when two people seek to be their best selves so that they can offer their best hearts in a relationship.
Taking time apart can be scary and full of risks, but what you’re left with after a time of reflection, healing, and empowerment can show you the strength you truly possess.
We had found ourselves in this relationship that felt vision-less and a little purpose-less. We were both focused on what we could get out if it, rather than what we could add to it and it was taking a toll. We knew we loved each other deeply, but there was a constant shallowness keeping us from really loving each other fully. – Andrea
Sometimes, we fear that a break may show us what we don’t want to see and it’s the fear that keeps us from truly living our best and most healthy lives. If you find yourself in a relationship that is more destructive or detrimental to your health and overall well-being, a break can offer clarity and truth during your time apart.
Don’t allow the fear of singledom or change to control the power and love within you.
Focus your intention on allowing your heart to heal and to mend. A partner who loves selflessly, unconditionally, and boundlessly will encourage you to take time to heal and to grow, and if you’re meant to be, your time spent apart will establish power and ignite new purpose and perspective.
When I asked Andrea about the seven months she and Josiah spent away from one another, she expressed striking wisdom and confidence about the beauty of their break.
We felt that most of the ugly stuff we were allowing to fester in us was taken care of and was given time to heal. We both grew as individuals exponentially during that time and we were able to start to really grasp why romantic relationships exist and why they’re so beautiful and should be handled with much care and intention. – Andrea
Learn to love selflessly instead of selfishly.
If you’re experiencing stress and anxiety about the break you’ve found yourself in, start by looking at your heart’s standpoint. Are you seeking a relationship for self-fulfillment or because you desire to honor and love your significant other?
A selfless love will allow you a vision to see the power in yourself and the power of a strong and loving relationship founded on transparency and kindness. So, however long your season apart is and for whatever reason, a break can be a powerful and significant factor.
A break isn’t the end of the world. It’s a chance at a new beginning filled with hope, reflection, and triumph.
On a beautiful September day in the late summer sun, I witnessed Andrea and Josiah become husband and wife in an immaculate ceremony. It was a living, breathing dream as I watched Andrea walk down the aisle to a sweet song her beloved groom had written for her. The moment was both heavy and tender.
True love is patient, kind, and full of wonder.
A break not only made Andrea’s and Josiah’s relationship stronger, but it offered them clarity. A gentle pause in a love story that was meant to be served as a reminder of truth and a foundation strong enough to build a life together upon.
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