Love & Life Romance & Relationships Single-dom

If Your Love Is Meant To Be, He’ll Come Back Around. Here’s Why…

Over the course of my dating life, I’ve learned an important lesson about love – something that pertains to young women who have just begun dating, as well as more experienced women who know all about love….

If it’s right, if it’s meant to be, the man you’re lusting over right now will come back around.

Check out Kimberly’s 10 Reasons To Love Being Single

You see, men are not always ready for what we are looking for…sometimes they’re still getting over another woman; sometimes they’re focused on their job and making a living for themselves; sometimes they are still figuring themselves out.

True Love

Photo Source: We Heart It

In such cases, sometimes it’s best to let a potential partner go.

There is no need to hang around and wait.

Just broke up? Check out our Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide To Getting Over Your Breakup

A graceful goodbye is key:

no angry text messages, no needy midnight phone calls, no flirty Facebook chats. Just let him go.

If the attraction was real, and he felt what you felt, then he won’t forget about you.

You: the one who was sexy and secure enough to go live her own life.

And what a life you’ll have lived after doing your thing.

  • Perhaps you’ll have traveled.
  • Perhaps you’ll have started a business.
  • Perhaps you’ll have gotten a degree.
  • Perhaps you’ll have gotten into great shape.

The future without him holds so many possibilities.

That’s what you need to focus on.

You ask: “But how do know that he’ll come back?”

Two reasons.

Firstly, in the 21st century, it’s really hard to lose touch with people.

A decade ago, friends and lovers and neighbors and colleagues would disappear into the ether of history; now, they disappear into the ether of social media or Google.

And even when you’re not friends on Facebook or Google+, they still have your cell phone number!

If he wants you, and if the relationship ended gracefully, then he’ll reach out to you when he’s ready.

Sprung? Before you lose yourself, here’s what you must do before falling in love

Secondly, men don’t forget about the women they fall hard for. Especially if the relationship ended on positive, benevolent terms.

And if another women comes into his life, well then, it just wasn’t right. But after living your life, then you’ll have found another man too.

So, if you’re struggling to let go of someone that you potentially see yourself with in the future, but the relationship isn’t working out because he isn’t ready or he isn’t giving you what you want, do yourself a favor and gracefully let him go.

Give yourself the gift of living your life.

And if he really loves you, then a few years down the line he will come knocking.

And if it’s not mean to be, well then you’ll have made the necessary space for yourself and your next man.

Get in touch with Kimberly by joining her mailing list to receive more recommendations on health, beauty, and wellness.

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  1. Cassandra says:

    So True this was me 20 year ago and now we’re 20 years strong he had to get himself to gather to love me and I respect that at first I thought he didn’t love me so I moved on got in a relationship had a son with someone else that relationship wasn’t going no where so I decided to be single then I got a phone a phone call and it was him we reconnect but we took it slow he had moved to another state went back to school to get a welder career and he want me and my son to come down there where he was so we did and tried to make a life together it’s been a roller coasters but we both took the ride now it’s 20+years and we love each other more more everyday

    1. Chevon says:

      How did you deal with the time of separation? I’ve never experienced this type of pain before… I thought I had loved but never nothing like this… Being so close to “heaven” on earth and having to walk away, MAN! Not an easy task…

      1. rebelsoul says:

        I know how exactly you feel….you just can’t believe that how come something that feels so good can be misunderstood..

    2. Priscilla Wah says:

      Wow that’s a beautiful story. It’s a wake up call for me… I’m dealing with a break – up after 8 years he just drops me. I’m so heart-broken. Also, me knowing him I know he is trying to find himself and financially trying to make a living. He once mentioned marriage and now I feel like he hates me presence. I always pictured me marrying him. We have a 5 Years old but I don’t know what’s next. I’m trying to find myself now.

      1. lovelygrl says:

        Priscella, it’s going to be extremely hard. But, you know what? Things will surprisingly get better. Pray and ask God to give you strength to let go. And, I’m telling you, He definitely will; that man is so amazing. Also, time heals most everything; give it time, time.

  2. Brenda says:

    I’m been lusting over this man for a whole year now. Never been on a date with him , never sat down and had dinner with this man. A year and the only place we have been is my bed, hotel rooms. I haven’t even been to his house. And the sad thing about this is I told him I’m falling in love with him last week . I feel so stupid,just like a booty call. What do I do

    1. lovelygrl says:

      I think you should let go if you want more , but he doesn’t. If you are really falling for him, then I would have the “where is this going talk” with him. Although you are really into him, don’t be afraid of his answers. Its better to know now than waste 20 years sleeping with him, and you find later that all he ever wanted was a booty call relationship. Don’t waste precious time on a man. Life is just way too short. I hope it works out for you:-)

  3. Chevon says:

    This article is exactly what I needed today! I’m currently in the stages of letting go of what has been the best thing thus far in my life. The love is mutual but just bad timing and I respect that… The separation is hard but I know it’s necessary. But in the midst of the pain I find myself fearful that it won’t come back around again… So this article has been a blessing! Thank You!

  4. Rosa says:

    I am so glad I saw this information I have debated for months whether or not to leave my man.. I have rode a rollercoaster for 2 years. He is a great guy however he does not want to remarry. Which creates conflict between us. I am in my early 50’s and he is 63……. I am going to move on if it is meant it will happen.. I love him very much and he said he loves me. So if we part on very good terms who knows what the future may hold…. Thanks for confirming what I already felt..

  5. Joanne Clegg says:

    Such good advice…. I recently connected with a guy from my mid 20s, over a decade later. We still get on fabulously. Hoping that this second time around is the real thing. Lots of obstacles though, but at least we’re both single :-). I’m going to hold your advice in my heart, because I’m not that crazy girl from the first time round, and I want him to know me for the woman and mother I’ve become.

  6. Lauren E. says:

    I needed this. For me falling in love is rare, so when I found this guy two and a half years ago I jumped in head first. Even though we were long distance I was willing to make it work. When we are together, our level of our togetherness is undeniable. He is definitely someone I could spend the rest of my life with, however in the last year he has committed himself to his career only. This leaves me with a whole heart full of love for him and nowhere for it to go. I understand his situation and I wish the best for him but I cannot be satisfied with only half of him. So this Article definitely helps support the decision I’m about to make and gives me confidence.

  7. Diedra Boyd says:

    Hi Kimberly,
    M name is Diedra, and before I ask my questions I just want to let you know your work is amazing and you inspire me in so many ways.
    1. If your first acting role involves you being nudes, should i take?
    A1. would that mean I’m degrading myself especially for it to me my first experience?
    2. Who do I revolve myself around in the acting industry?
    3. What and what not to accept from a director/producers if any?
    4. What is the most important thing to know/remember when in the acting industry?

    Thanks again Ms Kimberly n for this opportunity,

  8. Sharika says:

    Such a great and encouraging post. Love it! I just recently let go of my love and I truly believe that if we are meant to be it will happen. Not on our time but God’s. So in the mean time and between time I am going to live my life and be thankful for the time and love we shared together.

  9. Sonette Alexis says:

    Just recently I had to let my love go. I felt something wasn’t right and I asked him make a decision on what he wants. He chose to let go in order to get himself right. At first I didn’t want the break (I was afraid of him going off and finding someone else) but he insisted it was best for both of us. His reason was that he didn’t want to come in my life and bring in any bad habit he has, or impose his ways on me. You see I had made it clear to him that I made up my mind to serve God truly and let my life be clean, so on this note he wanted to go and work on himself. He took that time to pray and seek God’s guidance; laying down his faults before Him, and taking responsibility for his actions. It was a long 12 hours break (lol) but we are back on track. He knew what he wanted and what is most valuable to him; serving God in truth. I never had anyone doing something like that for me. It’s the most heartfelt love I had ever received from any man. Letting go isn’t bad at all, if that person is for you, he/she will come back no matter how long it takes. No greater love as any man than e lays down his life for another.

  10. Jai says:

    I so appreciate this article it had me in tears. This was the story of my life these past two months. Our connection was so strong, so surreal that it was a bit frightening, but in a good way. The relationship seem to be everything we both claim we ever wanted. We met via social media FB to be exact. I accepted a friend request from him a few weeks before he got my attention by “liking” ALL my vacation photos lol. Finally, one Saturday morning he in boxed me and ask if I would call him after hours of texting back and forth. I returned my number so he could do the calling. He did, it was as if we had known each other for 20 years. We totally hit it off. After months of commuting from Florida to Atlanta, many late nite, early morning and all through the day connections of beautiful music to the ears of “I miss you, I’m really into you, you are the one, my Queen for life, even I love you’s”. Sincerely, we loved and enjoyed this beautiful energy of love we shared. He was so happy and grateful and so was I. I felt proud to walk beside this man. He was my King and I knew this with all my heart. Together we were like a ray of sun shine in the morning light and everything smiled upon us. It was so right! Suddenly, he began to pull back, pushing me further and further away then eventually asking if we could just be friends…I had to shut it all the way down in order to keep myself on a positive path. Well, I took my shine back!! I let him go…If he ever came back, I don’t know if I could or want to pick up the hurtful pieces. Thank you so much Kimberly Elise for the article. In my head, you and I are friends (smile).

    Peace n Blessing!
    Jai Jordan

    1. lovelygrl says:

      Jia Jordan, your post really brought back memories and I hate when I hear of stories of men pulling away. I believe they do this in fear. They feel as if they found the right one, but just like Kim E. said it may be the wrong time for them. My husband did the same; he pulled away for months and tested the waters. Only to return. He came back to me crying and begging for me to take him back. I did, and we’ve been married for over 12 years. He’s been so good to me; he’s truly my best friend. Back to the subject, sometimes it takes months, but with some it may take years. It seems your ex really loved you at some point. Believe me that love he felt will resurface, no matter how hard he tries to repress it. However, if he takes too long, by that time you may have found someone who isn’t afraid of commitment and who realizes what an amazon woman you are:-)

      1. Catt says:

        Thank you all for your stories, my boyfriend just left me. I was always mad at him for having the wrong priorities, ones that seemed to involve his future, not mine. He wanted this, he wanted that, what was important to him. Don’t get me wrong, he was very, very good to me but what I wanted could come “in time”. We would eventually get them together. He left because of my anger and I was angry because his love seemed to involve putting himself first.
        I would love it if he came and said to me that he thought about all of the things I wanted and we should work on making it happen.
        For someone that says he wanted to marry me and make a future with me, I feel left in the dark, alone.
        Your stories have inspired me because sometimes I think 2 people truly do love each other and that they are just at 2 different places when they are together.
        I pray that he and I get on the same page. I love him with all of my heart and I miss him every day.
        I asked him when he was coming home and he didn’t answer me, so I had to let go.
        It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
        All I wanted was a future with him, a house and happiness.

  11. Sonia Brown says:

    I just ended my 14yr+ relationship, because I lost the battle with his job. There is really no time or room for me, and he has made it known. I love him with everything I am, but I guess somethings are more important to other ppl

  12. Ebony says:

    I am witness to this. This has happened to me and when I say the feeling, the love is unexplainable it really is. We lost touch. I never thought I’d see the love of my life again but 12 years later we were still longing for each other, Trying to find one another still while living our lives and blessed finally. We have been reunited, our love is stronger and unconditional and we owe it all to God. I still can’t believe he brought us back together. I thank him everyday. We are unseprable. Kim definitely knows What she talking bout. Thanks love and Godbless you!!!

  13. Kat says:

    I love u Kimberly, let me first say that. Ok, I’ve been in about 4 relationships in my life and I’m now 35 years old, I’ve done gas station jobs all my life, and seeing as how guys try an come on to me, I vowed never to date a guy I meet at work. So I went against my own wishes and start dating this guy, why, because he was a church goin man, and he knows God. But he has a not so good past, and neither do I, so I dnt judge he’s past, I’m not like that. We meet in February of last year, start dating in March. We been off and on until October of last year. So because of him bringing his past in our future caused me to have hate in my heart for him for that, but I still loved him. I asked him to leave for a few days, he came back, me thinking I was over his mess up, start treating him very badly, so we parted again in February, and he started seeing some one else, though it hurt, I still loved him and didn’t move on, but not once did I call and try to get him back, after about two weeks, he started contacting me, saying how he missed us and wanted to come home. So I let him, we got married in April, and being doing ok, moved to another state an started a new life. But last night I saw his wallet laying there, and yes, I went in it, not looking for and upset, but he tends to keep his pay a secret at times, so I wanted to see why. But instead, I find another woman’s number, so yes I call her woman to woman. No anger nor bad words, we just talked, and she advised me that he did call her with the intention of hooking up, but she told him she was taken, he denied It for a while, then admitted his wrong doing and wanting to make it right, so my question is, should I stay, or should I leave, because he didn’t get her number from her, he over heard her giving it to a cashier, that’s why I vowed never to date a customer, because if they would come on to me, then what makes me think he wouldn’t do it at another store, and he did. I’m only confused because this is the only time this has happened, but whose to say, he won’t do it again, though he says he’s not.. Thanks in advance for even taking the time to read this.

  14. Moise says:

    I think you are right! The one who comes back does it with renewed affection and comes back for good because he took to weigh everything. Anyway, take your time to test, to ask question and to be sure of your move…

  15. YoonMyat says:

    I do love this post Ms.Kim. Help me also.
    My ex and i met on Meow chat.After chatting day by day,he asked me if i give him my ph number and i did.We moved to talk on phone only and we shared our environment,our childhood,our family and so on.I knew almost all of his biography because he told me without asking by myself.Then, we were in a relationship after about three weeks later although we hadn’t seen each other(but, he and i already saw each other photos on FB).My ex’s hometown is so far away from me.Its also become the reason why we couldn’t meet even though we wanted.But,we connected by phone almost the whole day. He told me all of things he doing at the time.To be short, i believed he was real to me and he really used to love me.

    By the way, he is studying in Thailand.Before he went to there, we had met for two times face to face and his behaviors was the same like earlier at the time. But,in about two weeks later, he changed and did unbelievable things on me. He didn’t phone me many times like recent days and he told he was busy for his uncle who was in hospital for the urgent case. So, i stayed by keeping silent and only contact when he call. During that times, we also fighted for the little things, but i still kept in contact after that. I thought we had nothing wrong
    things but the situation is changed when he moved to Thainland for his study.

    He didn’t contact me on FB for about two weeks and i also did the same way b’coz i didn’t want to see me as an easy girl. But, finally i started to message first why we didn’t call each other. He replied me ” Who are you? What are you talking about? ” only. So, i was very sad and thought he was not loved me anymore and decided to cut off all connection with him.

    But, I really can’t forget him until now and still want him although my feelings are right or wrong. Will he come back? After break up to this day, it was about one month and nothing has happened. Will I have the chance to get him. Please advice me. I still getting broken heart b’coz i loved him so much.

    1. Kimberly Elise ( User Karma: 0 ) says:

      Hi YoonMyat,

      I recommend a book for you called If The Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl. It’s an old classic that teaches you about how to find love — true, spiritual love that is healthy and healing for your heart. In fact, maybe we’ll write a post on that!

    2. lovelygrl says:

      Yoonmyat, I’m not an expert when it comes to love; but I have been married for over 12 years, so I can at least give you a little bit of advice. Well, it seems you really didn’t know this guy that long. Not trying to be mean, but he could’ve easily been married and just texting you to pass time while he study. You said you never met him? Which means you guys didn’t have the opportunity to form a “real” relationship. Unfortunately my dear he hasn’t truly created a bond with you to honestly miss you or even come back for that matter. It seems like you guys had a phone relationship for a couple of weeks or even months and then he lost contact because he was really living another life. However, I could be wrong. But, I’m seldomly wrong about these things. Find a real man whom you can interact with on a daily basis; not just via phone. Someone who you can experience true intimacy with. And, it doesn’t have to be physical, it could be mentally. But, someone who you can actually see and spend quality time with. That other guy could have been telling you anything. You didn’t know him. Lose the hope that he’ll come back and find a real man. Someone who will want to be with you and see you; not just have a couple of phone conversations and then leave. In the meantime, keep your head up; things will get better:-)

  16. ishmael says:

    this post gives me hope, im currently experiencing the same thing. i feel shattered, my girlfriend of 3 years has been on and off with me, i had a feeling there was someone else. i love her so much and she keeps saying she feels the same way about me. we had an incredible connection. 3 days ago i found out she has someone else and yet she tells me she knows what she wants and one day it will be clear. i will let her go and i do hope i forgive her for this, although it hurts right now and hope one day she comes back…

      1. Kristina Rezene says:

        I understand we have to move on but what if we don’t want to! I’m 26 years old never had a boyfriend till I was 25, he was the most beautiful person I knew but to make the story short I said something out of insecurity with all these social networks and girls flaunting them selves I said ” I think you need a prettier girl” thinking he would reassure me like he always does when i say crazy things this time he didn’t’ he said ” I get it you dont wanna be here and where is this coming from” I apologized for my actions ever since but he told me he shuts down when he is being played but I didn’t play him I just had an Insecure moment’ now it’s been two weeks I’ve cried my heart out to him apologized but he is being so cold. I know he really loves me cause I’ve known him for three years the first guy I ever talked to, he respects I’m still a virging and doesn’t presssaure me I know I will never find another and I don’t! But my question is how much time is enough time for him to come around? I feel like the more time he has without me he might find someone or whatever the case is.. I don’t know much about relationships but I just need answers thank you so much’ sorry for such a long comment!

        1. Kimberly says:

          Kristina, I’ve been married for fourteen years and have been in a couple of long term relationships before that. I’m not an expert with relationships but just about every guy I’ve dated always came back. And, I’ll tell you why. First, I was the best girlfriend to whoever I am with. Second, it doesn’t matter how much I loved the guy I was with…I’ve always loved myself more. If the guy wants to up & leave one day because he feels the grass is greener, I don’t argue, or beg… I just merely let him go and see how that grass being greener was just a mirage! &, then they come back. But, the sad part is I’ve probably already moved on.

          At any rate, what I’m trying to say is I know you loved him, but never show a man you love him more than you love yourself. He’ll find this extremely unattractive and ultimately lose respect for you. Don’t beg him if he says he needs space. Just plainly say ” cool, I hope you find what you’re looking for”. And, disappear as if you never met him. Don’t worry about who he is seeing. Chances are he’ll end up sabotaging that relationship as well. But, of course that wouldn’t be your problem anymore anyways. You have the leverage. You are a virgin and nowadays that is extremely hard to find. But, sweetheart, please save that for someone who is going to treat you like a queen and give you the world. Not someone who barely wants you. Or someone who is distancing himself so that you can feel guilty into giving him your virginity. If he does that, he’ll probably end up leaving anyways. And you’ll be the one left miserable and brokenhearted. In the end it wouldn’t be worth it. Wait for that special someone. God will send him your way. Just wait.

  17. Candz says:

    I have been in a 3yr relationship with a man who had 2 daughters however we were friends first when he lost his job and lived with me for 9months prior to finding work again (I supported him in that time) even so everything was beautiful and our love grew stronger, but on the other hand I had the nagging of the sixth senth as we fought he would leave me for a whole weekend nd me not knowing where he was or whether he was alive or what, yet this feeling of he must be up to something got stronger yet I knew not how to ask him and eventually he found a job and his ‘own’ place, but later on I found out that he was married and his son was born and that hurt so very much and even felt like I was going to loose my mind cause the hurt was unbearable really it was painful. So with dat out I waa not willing to settle for seconds and once I got over the hurt I js left him..

    It was about three months later his brother who works with me came begging me to meet with him and I agreed to after the 6th month which by this time I got engaged to someone I was not really inlove with but just thought it wld help me get over the other one quickly and beside I wntd to be a married women and hve my own family. .

    Now after meeting with my ex him nd I hve made up and he gota divorce to his wife but we dont live together yet cause apparently his tryna fight for full custody for his kids but he dnt wna leave his kids with her cause she wants to take them outta creche nd school if she moves out his area, so I hve somewhat still distanced myself because I love him but I dont wna have my heart broken like that again. He tells me however to fall for him as he has for me. The thing I struggle with is he is living under the same roof with his ex wife nd kids but he apparently sleeps in another room nd has not touched his wife since his son was conceived which is just over a yr ago. (I hve my doubts on that one).

    Please advise

    1. Kimberly says:

      That’s bull. Anyone can say that. But, not everyone could actually show you divorce papers and move out. You don’t know what’s going on in that house. For all you know he could be eating her out every night. You really don’t know! Tell him if he is serious about you leave that house. He can still fight for custody and not be there. Actions speaks louder than words. Remember that. Please don’t waste years on a man who keeps hurting you. You teach people how to treat you.

  18. Vekit says:

    This applied to both women and men,
    I dated this woman we clicked so every levels, sex is awesome, synergy is all there.but I was selfish , still looking for more,Having other girls while in relationship with her, I was an asshole for her a whole year, I treated her so bad. But she was always around when I needed.

    She couldn’t take it anymore after I was with another girl and she threatened to expose all my shits to another girl, of course at that time I was afraid of be exposing and fear that another girl would leave me, so I said shitty thing to my gf and chased her away.

    I haven’t been happy since then , I just realized that my gf was always the one for me, I ended it with other girls, I got a flight , flew to get her back. But now it’s all too late she said we couldn’t be the same. I asked her if she could consider what should I do to make her forgive and take me back. She is really changed,

    Now , I’m living with all the guilt I have done to her for the past whole year, and now I knew I screwed up what is really important to me the most.
    She said she would still gave me chances ( maybe because due to sympathy) , she believed that me and her , we are each other half. But she didn’t if she ever loved me like it was before. She doesn’t want to date right now, she just wanna be happy on her own, She wanna see how I’m now changed and improved

    I confessed myself to other girls that what a cheating asshole I have been to them. Now I dont know what to do, keep calling her everyday or no contact? We live further apart( 1 and 30 min flight). So there is no chance I could see her weekly and daily.

    I think I’m tearing myself apart to come to a conclusion that I need to let her go, she knew that I love her.

    If she ever come back to me, then I called it luckiest day of my life. If not I woukd say I learn the hardest lesson ever in my life. I would never cheat again.

    1. nesha says:

      Wow I never thought men had feelings after all… It’s sad because I’m here saying to myself if my ex have any shame or feelings that his right next door me with his boss. It’s so much pain I have to stand strong at work…

    2. Kimberly says:

      Vekit if you truly feel that girl was the one for you, show her. Prove yourself to her. Time and time again if that’s what it’s going to take. But let her know this. Let her know you’ll be there when she’s ready, tell her you ain’t going nowhere. Here’s the thing, she stood by you while you disrespected her and she was patient with you. Well, now it’s your turn player. If you are truly a changed man, prove it to her. Good luck, sir 😉

      1. Carley says:

        I had met up with my ex from high school. He told me he still loved me after 33 years. He was getting divorced had the lawyer, papers, money paid out. We had a great time, like time stood still. He came and we moved my stuff to his home state. Waiting on the divorce to be final. Which he decided years before we even talked. I have been divorced over 10 years. I stayed with my friends who moved there also. Then his. He wanted to buy me an engagement ring I declined. He had to end it before we could start our life. Then something changed 1 year later. Excuses of I can’t divorce yet, birthdays, funerals, weddings, you name it. Now 3 years later he is still with her telling me he loves me not her. It will be 4 years very shortly. I never thought I would be in this situation. She asked him about me. He lied. I feel very betrayed, and I feel very upset for her. I feel we are both pawns in his game. He has no respect for her, then I truly wonder if I should believe anything he says. Sad part. We were to be married a long time ago. I should have followed my heart and not my mothers demands. Pinning him in a corner for answers is not the right way to deal with this. I need to know the correct tools to use to get to the bottom of what he is thinking or not any advice I am ready for it. My heart is so broken, a kick in the stomach I can handle.. Lucy

  19. Vivian says:

    So my ex and I dated for only 1 year then broke up. I never thought that we would ever be together and that I’d be attracted to him, but it happened. He told me how he felt about me and I though “it’s just hormones talking” plus this guy is my best friend, like a son to me (even though he’s only 1 year younger than I am). He was persistent and I figured that since we work together, go to school together, and go to the same program that I guess I could give it a try. Most women want to be with someone that is older than they are, so that was a big slap for me and he said “if a number like age is why we’re not together then you’ll need to pause time so i can catch up because I’m not losing you”…very corny, but I saw his point. We started dating and it took me a while to open up to him but in time I saw him for who he was and he loved me for who i was. We were opposites in many way…I’m mature, him not so much; he’s more open, me not so much; our differences kept us strong because we worked through all of them. His lived above the ground and I was very much grounded…he ended up lifting me off the ground and I brought him closer to the ground…we met on an equal level. I loved him so much and felt that our imperfections are what made us perfect in every way. He loved me beyond words…I didn’t see it at first, but in time I saw it and his friends/family kept telling me they’ve never seen him carry his heart out of his chest unless he was with me. We were younger and our love was so great, but it came to an end. We separated, but even after our break up it was as though nothing changed and we couldn’t stay away from one another. I knew I needed to distance myself so I did, but he kept getting closer and i pushed away more. Obviously we should have tried to work our differences out, but I feel like maybe we should take this time apart and see where things end up. I love him as much as he still loves me, but I don’t think love will be enough…it was sad at first because we were great together but this gives us time to focus on what we want as adults and if its meant to be we’ll be together in due time, if not then it was beautiful while it lasted but it is so hard….gets better everyday though
    Does is painless, why does love end up hurting?

    1. stacy says:

      what broke ya up if everything was good and that was not corny when he said to pause time and when u said about him lifting u off the ground and u brought him closer to the ground nicely put and r ya back together

    2. Kimberly says:

      Vivian, love hurts only when it’s true love and you loved that person so deeply that when it finally hits you that it’s over…you can feel the pain in your stomach. It feels as if someone is stabbing you with a knife…that’s true love. In the psychology world, they call it “separation anxiety,” but, I’m a living witness, that this too shall pass. At first, it may seem like the days are long and the nights are unbearable, but just know God is always there watching over you and keeping you. He will help you get over this. But, it’s going to take time my friend, time.

  20. Lulu says:

    I have been in love with my best friend on and off for 3 years. We were the closest of friends and always relied on each other to get through the hard times. He was dating this girl on and off for a year they would date for about 6 weeks then she would call it off on the proviso that they would stay friends. I watched her choose her career over him multiple times and every time she broke his heart I was there for him. In January this year they finally called it quits when she chose a job in a different city and left him behind, again. He and I began sleeping together and over the course of the year began dating. He told me and everyone around him that I made him happy and that this was easy and meant to be. We were in love. Then out of the blue his ex reappeared and told him that she still loved him and had loved him for a few months and didn’t want him to be with someone else. He then broke up with me, but promised that I could never be replaced. I have never seen someone so upset as when he left my house that day and I have never felt so alone or empty. It has been a month since we broke up and he hasn’t tried to make contact. I don’t know if I should contact him or walk away? All of our friends, both mutual and not say they were sad to hear about the breakup and know he feels terrible. Everyone tells us we are meant to be, what should I do?

    1. Kimberly says:

      Lulu, I know it’s hard, but if it is true that you can’t be replaced, then he’ll be back… but, you’ll be too busy living your life to care. You’re too good of a woman to be someone’s second choice. Move on and forget the jerk ever existed.

    2. nikki says:

      Walk away. He more than likely left you to be back with his ex. He had some unresolved issues that he wanted to work out with her. I’m the end if it’s you he truly wants you he’ll come back.

      1. Trisha says:

        Well need advice on my relationship which ended a week ago…basically i knew this guy already but we werent really close to eachother…to only time we meet eachother is through events or parties and his my cousins friend so when my cousin comes to my area i would come and see my cousin at his house…back in 2014 january there was a party which i attened and from there my ex started to like me and being really nice to me and he started to ask who my friends where so i told him who and the next day he called my best friend only to tell her how much he wants to be with me and how he would make me happy, asking about my behaviour if am rude ect then he got my number we started to get eachother better everyday talking on the phone and our first date was on valentine was really nice and romatic i felt immediately in love i knew i found my soul mate and from there we began our relationship…he brougjt me around his family and am so close to his sisters they always have my back when we argue.

        But the first time we broke up was because he wantes sex and someone to be there all the time sleep at his house…his 24 and am 20 btw but i live with my parents and my mother is kind of strict so i sometimes struggle to come the house or when its date night…since am i virgin i told him to give me time as am not ready we argued and broke up for 2 months then he called me to apologise to me as he jst want to have fun just like his friends but he could do what he wanted to do as he really loves me…toke him back and recently the same problem occured but this time he has found someone else but she does not live in the same state as him howver he called me to let me know that he was already moved on and he gave me the same reasons as before im so heartbroken at the fact that he found someone else so quickly making me wonder if he only wants to have sex with her or to be serious

        I told his sisters and they are all dissapointed they told me to just let him go and leave him play his stupid games and when im not paying attention to him for a while he will know how much i mean too him meanwhile they are pressuring him to stop what his doing to get back with me

        But honestly am so hurt we been together for 2years and if i really really let go is he gonna regret what he did and come back or he just doesnt want me no more since i dont want to have sex yet and the other girl is prop not a virgin…i dont know what to do but am letting go and if he comes back he will pay for all the pain he was giving to me as he did not even which me a happy birthday but instead told me that he moved on and to leave his life alone

  21. Caren says:

    What message is he sending when he changes his phone number and moves without telling you? The last time I saw him, he said he needed time to sort through everything going on in his life – job, money, health, relationship. He felt pressure to move in together. But he said he would contact me and I believed him. So why would he do this? I have never threatened him, burned up his phone with calls or texts. Any insight? Thanks.

    1. Kimberly says:

      Don’t text or call him. And, if he does call wait atleast an hour to respond. Don’t sound to eager to hear from him. Don’t ask deep questions. Keep everything cool and on the surface. Feel him out. This may cause him to end the conversation because he’s trying to see where your head is & if he still has it. Beat him at his own game. If he’s not saying anything like, “I need to meet you and talk” or something else that will prove he is trying to really work on this. Keep the conversation light and be the first to say “well I’m so busy these days, but it was nice hearing from you, goodbye”. This will show that you are confident, you know what you want and you lived without him this long, hell, you can go longer…dueces!

    2. chani says:

      I’m going through something similar now. Everything was going great, spoke last week as per usual when he finished work, all normal, ‘I love you, I’ll call you after the movies babe’ then nothing. I message next day, he says he’s sorry he’s busy at work, last night was another story, I’ll catch up with you later though, then puff, disappears, blocks my number. We didn’t have a fight or any lead up to this. I’m devastated and confused.

      1. Teresa says:

        I’m really sorry to hear that this happened to both of you, it has happened to me before and is currently happening again. I was seeing a guy for 2 years and we were very happy. Recently, he has just cut off all contact. It went from him telling me he loved me, that he misses me to just not hearing from him anymore.. in under a month. I don’t know how someone can change their mind so quickly, or how he said he felt was even genuine. You’re both wondering why someone would treat you this, it’s so confusing and hurtful, but the truth is that he is simply too much of a coward to have the balls to say it isn’t working. It’s easier (for him) to cut off all contact and vanish without a trace just so he doesn’t have to have an awkward or emotional conversation. If that’s how he treats people, then you’re better off without him (even though I still miss my guy terribly). Take solace in the fact that you’re better than that and that you deserve someone better.

  22. Lily says:

    This is an amazing article….I only dated this boy for 6 months but in they were enough to fall harder than ever. I’m 24 years old and I decided to come study my master’s in the Netherlands. We were only able to spend a month apart until it finally took it’s toll and we decided it best to end. He is a year younger than me but since I came he told me it’s too hard and he can’t do the long distance thing. And well I am really emotional and always told him he should be sweeter and try and put more effort but I think that only pushed him away. I know he cares for me and I hope God has it in his plans to see us back but I agree with your article in that I need to keep living. I am going to take your advise and no clingy text messages just a clean cut. i’m just confused because my Master’s is a year and a half long but technically I can go home in 5 months if I choose to and do my Thesis from home, but what if I choose to go home and it wasn’t meant to be?

    …..Thank you for writing this lovely piece of work.

    1. Vanessa says:

      Hm haha I am from the Netherlands. I think its best for you to stay here enjoy your time and I think Its better to move on from him for now. I dont think you pushed him away I think he decided he want something/someone else or something… If he doesnt want to have a serious conversation about if he want to continue what the 2 of you have if you go back then stay here… Xxx

  23. MissingHim says:

    I started dating the love of my life three years ago. I had a rough breakup prior, he was there for me, and we kind of just hit it off. During our 3 months together, I wasn’t as into it as he was. I wasn’t inlove with him, or so I thought. After 3 months (now its September), we kind of just drifted, he did his thing, I did mine. We both started seeing other people. Come December, he randomly texted me essentially confessing his love for me, and that he was a fool for letting me go, but i was already happyily (or so I thought) with another man. Requested we be friends, so forward we went. Come May, I broke up with the other man I was with, and the man I love did likewise with the girl he was with. By June we were so connected we made our relationship official again. Wasn’t smooth sailing, but we’ve made it through a lot in almost 2 years that most couples don’t go through in 25. He’s talked marriage, children, growing old together.. I thought all was perfect. I finally had my fairytale love I’ve always dreamed about. The last week I could tell something was off though, and he finally broke down, and told me. He was leaving me, we could still be friends. He said he loved me, and he always will, but he needs to figure himself out before he tries to figure us out. That he needs to Be himself again before he can bring someone into it with him. We are now taking a break, which I am having an extremely hard time coping with. When we speak on the phone (we live 600 miles apart) he will still say I love you first before hanging up. He still texts me throughout the day, some days he’ll disappear and not speak to me and i just leave him be. I requested he not throw away all that we’ve worked for completely, that once he figures out what he needs to, if we can try to salvage it, and fit it into what he wants with life. And he said he’s not throwing it all away, he just needs time. I understand the last few months have been rough on him, and he essentially needs to clear his head, but I’m a bit lost and confused. My thought process is if you truly love someone (As he claims) why would you risk losing that person? Am I a fool for stepping back, trying to keep my boundaries and waiting for him? I’m trying to be positive, but I tend to over think things through, and sabotage my positive thoughts. 🙁

    1. Kimberly says:

      Way back in the day I was going through this same exact thing. I thought the connection was great, as did he.years later when we had ever opportunity to be together, he tells me if has to find himself first. Boy was I heart broken. But, I was also strong. He tried to keep our friendship going, but you can’t truly be friends with a man who you are still deeply in love with. So, I told him I didn’t want to see him again. So after I told him that he would still contact me. I guess the point I’m trying to make is don’t expect him to come back. Move on with your life see other people. Because I can gaurentee that’s exactly what he is doing.

  24. This rings true here. I have just let someone go and although we didn’t knew each other for long, we had a great connection. But the timing was all off. I found myself being “the other woman” for the first time in my life, which goes against everything I believe in. What started out as a friendship evolved into something I don’t even have a word for. We would text for hours everyday, echanging silly jokes to sharing deep thoughts and life stories. When we would meet, everything was just easy. At first, we were both seeing other people so it was easy to keep it friendly. But when I became available, flirting started and I grew very attached to him and him to me. We thought we could keep everything under control though, until one day we went too far. We both felt awful and decided to stop seeing each other and writing for a while. Although we both seem unable to stay away from one another, he wants to see where things go with the person he is seeing, even if things are not so good at the moment. He will be honest with her and if she can forgive him, he wants to carry out this story and see where it leads. Even though it breaks my heart, I can only like him more for that. I like that he does not give up just because things are rough and that he is honest enough and has enough integrity to tell her what happened. If things work out for them, then I can only be happy that such a good person has found love. If they don’t, he knows my door is open, even though I said I would not wait around for him. Maybe he will end up being a friend, maybe one day timing will be right for us. I don’t know. But if he is supposed to be mine, he will come back, that I know.

  25. Maureen says:

    MissingHim please know that you are not alone. I am in the exact same situation. Hopeful that each day I give him space he is taking the time to really consider a long term commitment to us. Only time will tell. The sad reality being that this may truly be the end (my daily sabotaging thoughts). I’ve received a beautiful bouquet of flowers and sweet notes from him, but what I haven’t received is a call saying that he wants to meet and discuss how we can make this work.

  26. kingsmom says:

    You should leave him alone. That girl dumped him and he dated you as a rebound and dumped you as soon as she came back. This has happened to me and the worse thing I was carrying his child. Don’t be desparate or stupid. You deserve someone that knows your worth. You are no second option or just in case.

  27. Brandon says:

    I fell in love with a guy in an open relationship, something I never imagined would happen. This happened in October, he’s 27 I’m 26. I saw him over over the span of a month. We texted often between the first time we met and the second time. I had never felt such a connection to anyone before. Our conversation just felt so natural and easy and our body language said the same. I couldn’t stop thinking of him. After the second time together which was very affectionate and intense, he txtd me a week after we say each other and said it was too intense and that because he has a boyfriend we shouldn’t see each other at least not for now. I respected his words and said I would not interfere. I thought I would be ok but he consumes my thoughts. Part of me thinks because of the connection I felt with him like I never have before that we are meant to be. I sincerely hope he comes back into my life again someday because I don’t know if I’ll find a guy like him again. I let him go and we are on friendly terms so the choice is his. I am so glad to read the comments on here and feel like I’m not alone.

  28. Karen says:

    Thank you for this. I’ve been reading a lot of articles online says how ‘timing isn’t an excuse’ ‘either they like you or you don’t,’ and I just don’t believe this to be true. Life is complicated, the world is complicated, people are complicated..maybe it is easier for people to see the world in black and white.

    I’m in a situation now with this guy who just got out of a year long relationship 3 months ago. We started seeing each other for a month and 1/2 before he said he just doesn’t feel emotionally ready and he can’t see where things are going right now..we had a great connection and it was always good times. It was really hard because it seemingly came out of nowhere (i didn’t know his break up was so recent.) I told him I understand and if he’s feeling up to it in the future, he can reach out..I think I handled it with grace and dignity and I’m hoping that sticks with him …. and that’s where we left it a few weeks ago. It’s tough to not think about it but i’ve just been trying to improve myself and do things that I love to do and hope that he comes around..

    Again, I just don’t think that things are so black and white. Sometimes things that don’t happen in this moment happen in the future. I appreciate your much more realistic viewpoint!

  29. joy says:

    MY name is leo joy… I feel very happy to share my great and wonderful testimony with everyone on this site..: I was married for 4years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture he started hating me and he was abusive. but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…. He filed for divorce and my whole life was turning apart and i didn’t know what to do, he moved out of the house and abandoned me and the kids… my very close friend told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster so i decided to try it. although i didn’t believe in all those things then when he did the special prayers spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading that he had realized his mistakes I just couldn’t believe it, anyway we are back together now and we are happy in case anyone needs help here is his email address His spells is for a better life.

  30. peter says:

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  31. Susie says:

    I’m in love with a guy and he loves me back. We’re meant to be together no doubt. But he’s had a broken childhood he’s fucked up and been fucked over. He’s broken and rn it’s so bad his parents are guilt tripping him into things with a divorce his sister is fighting with her boyfriend and they have a baby he feels everything is his fault even when it’s not. He broke up with me because he says he has to fix his family and he needs to do him. Ik he loves me because when it’s just me and him I can see it in his eyes and he cares what happens to me because I feel so fucked rn and I got in a car with a stranger and he almost beat the stranger up. He’s hurting and ik I can help but he won’t let me…he’s pushing me away because he loves me. He’s pretending to be happy but ik he’s not. Not like he was with me…he looks like he’s on drugs when he’s not with me…his eyes are like this dull gray blue but when he’s with me they are bright and full of life and his smile and laugh spreads all over his face. I told him to tell me he didn’t love me and he was happier without me but he said he couldn’t do it cuz it’s a lie. I’ve done everything I can and it just hurts so much. I can’t focus I’m broken and I don’t think I can ever get over this. I told him km trying to understand and that I would wait for him but he never answered me. The only thing keeping me going is the hope he’ll come back to me. I can’t imagine life without him and I’d do anything for him. What do u think is going to happen??? I’m so scared and unsure about everything rn I feel empty…is it possible to die of a broken heart…

  32. Hepburn1981 says:

    I LOVE this article. Started dating this guy a while ago who was planning on moving to the other side of the world to travel. We still dated despite this as we both just wanted a “bit of fun”, we weren’t looking for anything serious. Well, we accidentally fell in love and it got serious! Hes still moving, in a couple of weeks, and we’ve just parted ways. This last year has been so much fun with him. I do not regret our time together or regret falling in love but its so sad and hurts that its come to end. I just wish him every happiness on his adventures and hope that his travels bring us on the same path again one day in the future whenever that will be. Until then, I am going to concentrate on me and my friends and having my own adventures.

  33. Bianca says:

    I was with this guy for 2 years now. And we kinda had a rocky relationship, then he broke up with me the end of 2014, but I would still hit him up and we would see each other. Then after seeing each other he didn’t want to talk to me. I was a fool and kept hitting him up. Then around August 2015 we got into a huge argument and cut off communication. Out of no where he hit me up the beginning of November saying that he missed me and can’t stop thinking about me, etc. so I gave him a chance and we got back together. The day before Christmas we got into a other argument and he left me again. He said that I’m childish and I need to grow up. I was crying for a second chance and begging but he still wanted nothing to do with me. So I stopped. A few weeks later I notice he blocked me on snapchat? And I hit him up asking why did you block me. He said he didn’t,(I knew he was lying) then he told me to leave him alone and things like that. Then I sent him a long message saying that I will leave him alone and I won’t ever talk to him again and I deleted his number and everything. He didn’t reply. I’m still upset to this day and I’m still hoping he will come back and finally stay but I doubt he will ever come back for a second time.

  34. Jen says:

    The same for me as well. A bit hurt because he changed his mind so quickly about us but I really needed to read this. Hang in there to anyone else going through this too! We’re going to be okay with some time.

  35. Beli Santini says:

    So my ex and I separated about 6 months ago, after being together for 5 ½ years, engaged and all. He has 2 kids I raised that would call me mommy and all. He has full custody of because their mom signed over her rights . Long story short we lived with his parents they will always be involved in my relationship, there was no trust I wanted babies, he had a vasectomy. I wanted my home, my family but I wouldn’t see any effort from him. He cheated on me like 2-3 times everytime we would break up which now was the 3rd time he will go and find himself another girlfriend. Like if our love never meant anything to him. Meanwhile I would mourn my break up and be super down missing my family. Well this is the longest time we have been separated. I moved out he didn’t let me see the kids anymore and got with another girl 1 month after we broke up. So I decided to say enough is enough I changed my number and hadn’t spoken to him for 4 months. Now I come to find out the girl he was with left him and he has been contacting me through emails since he doesn’t have my new number. Just im confused a little here. Why is he back? because the girl left and now he feels lonely? I feel like everytime I try to move on he comes back right away n gets me back. It’s not fair because the love I had for this man was real. Ladies any opinions?

    1. Kimberly says:

      He treated you horribly. And now that he’s down on his luck with those other women…here he comes looking for you. He will never treat you with respect unless you respect yourself. I’m not saying all is loss. Because I went through hell with my hubby before he decided to settle down. Now we’ve been happily married for almost 14 years! So, if he is serious about you and making you his women…let him prove it time and time againg before you decide on anything, including responding to his e-mails. But, if you feel it is all bs…move on and never look back…and, I know you had a connection with his kids but don’t keep saying that’s my family. Because if that were true you would be with them right now and not posting about missing them. It’s just holds you back from moving on.

    2. Deech says:

      Stop answering. Send him to spam or junk mail. Get involved with pursuing your own interests. Won’t be easy, but unless you want to write another of these messages meditate and let him go.

  36. Linda Calderon says:

    I met this guy online 3 years ago. We met once, spoke and text m most everyday, then stopped. He said his life is complicated. He has 2 kids he has custody of and divorced-I’m presuming it was recent. Three years later in January 2016, he starting calling me again. We talked and text for a week and again stopped. In March 2016, he started calling me and texting me everyday for the past 2 weeks. He tells me he’d like to see again. In our conversation, we talk about family and kids. We started sexting and now he says, although he likes the ideas, but if we could slow it down. It all comes down to what we want to do and reality then his. He talks about how he thinks it’s time he works for himself, he’s a retired police officer and now works 4pm-12am. And talks about his ex wife and kids that are driving him crazy along with everything else. What should I think?

    1. Kimberly says:

      He likes you but not enough to commit. Try this, ask him if you and him have a future.. if he doesn’t give you a definite answer, then you have your answer. Keep it moving. You’ll eventually find someone who treats you like a queen.

      1. Linda Calderon says:

        He’ll never be able to COMMIT until he resolves his issue with his ex wife, . They have two teenagers together, which he has CUSTODY of. I know he has drama with her and his kids argue and fight with her. The way he is with her us the way the kids are with her. Until he honors her, even though she hurt him, failed him, the kids won’t honor her. How can he expect to move on, if there’s always resentment

  37. Helen Black says:

    I need your opinion, my ex boyfriend and I separated after a year and half. We both loved each other so much got along great until I mentioned us living together. I knew he had a terrible marriage with his ex wife she took everything from him and destroyed his idea of marriage but that was eight years prior to us. I became close to his family and his son, he became close to my daughter it was perfect but he was afraid of commitment and didn’t think he could get over his fear so now we don’t talk nor see each other it has broken my heart. I still love him dearly but I know that I need him to come to me and I feel there is nothing I can do. The last time we talked he said he is screwed up emotionally and that I deserve better. I am so afraid he won’t come back to me. His mother said he still has our pictures in his living room and bedroom and my toothbrush in the bathroom but why if he makes no attempts in trying to contact me. I am so confused with everything.

      1. Kimberly says:

        don’t worry about why he hasn’t contacted you. This will only have you hanging on longer. He obviously still loves you if has your pictures up. But, for now you just have to let go. Focus on yourself for right now. That’s exactly what he is doing. Good luck

      2. Helen Black says:

        It’s gotten worse than I thought it would we are completely over I found out he was cheating on me and he left those things out to try and string me along he didn’t care about me or how I felt he is still with the girl who he cheated on me with so now I know why he was afraid of commitment and now I know he never loved me he was in love with her his Co worker

  38. michelle says:

    Me and my ex had talk for almost 4 years and I had given up on love ,but he started talking to me and I told him that I didn’t want to be hurt anymore , but he said I promise I won’t hurt you ,please let’s just try ,so I said ok ,then we talked and ,he came to my house to meet me ,he was so sweet to me gave me a glass rose that has a saying just like this rose my love will never die ,I thought it was the sweetest thing, and then he started coming to see me every two weekends , and he treated me so good all but he broke up with me for a day Idk y but I forgave him then he proposed to me on Valentine day and then he told me he had to work one weekend that he was coming to see me I said ok ,but he was coming to see me Saturday night after work, then that evening he said babe it will be late when I get there so let’s wait till next weekend and I can spend the whole weekend with you I said yes,bit he ended up going to a topless bar with his cousin and got a lap dance, but I forgave him ,then then next weekend he come over and went through my I pad found some messages where I told my friends I love them but only as friends, but he broke up with me and I apologize for it and he still want come back to me. But I still love him and hope that he will come back but Idk .💔💔💔💔😟

    1. Babe says:

      baby forget him even if he dont come back….your too much of a women for him…it seems to me that you love him and thats understandable but he is taking you for granted in my eyes….please write down the pros n cons on him n really think about it

  39. aj says:

    What if you let him go like over 10 years ago? And he comes back emotionally unavailable over a recent devastating hurt and almost fatal illness? I am a mess and need to talk 😥

  40. Anne johnson says:

    My bf of 1 year broke up with me cause his family mostly his mom didnt like me . He seems fine n happy n even started talking to this new girl but his cloae friends hes hurting just trying to cover it up and that he will come back just give him time but idk do u think he will or no ? Ps were 16

  41. Anonymus says:

    The strength is inspiring. I was in an up and down relationship for 7 years. I loved a man and completely devoted myself to him. He did not work but I supported him and our 2 children. I caught him Internet cheating phone cheating several times but always forgave him. His friends would tell me he didn’t love me and he would himself at times. He abused me mentally and physically. As a product of a broken home I convinced myself to make it WORK. He spent a short time in prison and my loyalty seemed to bring us closer together but lasted 6 months after he was home then he said he wanted to be single. Sure I was far from perfect often overwhelmed with responsibility and stressed financially I was a nag. Though he left I begged to be with him, he started sleeping with someone ELSE. He came back to me but still did not treat me right. His brother saw my pain and confessed at he was in love with me. I brushed his advances off and never made mention of it. As time passed he occasionally would make a move but I was not interested. One day after a bad few days of fighting with my children’s father his brother came onto me again saying how I should leave my relationship Bc I was being cheated on and lied to. He begged me to try something with him as he grouped me. I pushed him away reluctant and thought I need to try Bc I will always be stuck with a man who doesn’t love me Bc no matter what I will forgive anything he puts me through. There was no completion of a sexually act but I did touch him and he snapped some pics I didn’t realize since I was so uncomfortable. I ceased all contact after. Several months later the brother had many failed attempts of contacting me so messaged me on fb. I responded as he owed me money. He then sent me pictures of that day I had forgotten and regretted. He then asked me for more pics which I responded with disgust he was trying to blackmail me. So as a person who does not hide things I neglected to delete the convo and my ex saw everything. We have been broken up for over a year. I desperately want to be with him I always loved him never his brother. He at times tells me he misses me and loves me then flips and says we will never be together. He started seeing a young girl then after a few months came to me crying that he missed me loved me and needed time. He stayed for months then left then came back now went back to the girl. I need some advice this cycle is destroying me. I do not believe we can ever get past the past. I know I made a mistake but I regret it never did it again have not been with anyone else and wish for forgiveness at least for the sake of our kids who are likely equally confused.helllp

    1. jacque says:

      It’s very HARD FOR A MAN TO want YOU back K IF HE think YOU MESSED WITH HIS BROTHER. It’s HIS pride that’s keeping HIM away.

  42. Natalia says:

    WOW. I am so glad that i am not alone in this complicated but true love. I need some advice ladies.
    I’ll make my long story short.

    When i was 15, i met this boy at a grocery store. It took one look at each other and we were deeply in love. He was my summer love…we dated for 3 months and then he broke up with me because he simply wasnt ready for a relationship at the age of 18. I was young but my heart broke into pieces. I loved him so much.
    3 years later, we run into each other and fall in love again. We were both in relationships but we quickly broke them off to be together. This time, we were together for 4 YEARS (engaged for 1.5) but i got sick and didnt know how to control my emotions and hormones so i pushed him away. He was tired of me being that way so he gave up on making things right. We had a terrible year together and i believe we are both guilty of it. But I ended up finding attention elsewhere and cheathed on the love of my life. I do regret it. Very much. And he knows it. But he left. I was even more heart broken…i wanted to take my life because living without him seemed impossible.
    He came back to me 3 years later for about a month but he left me heartbroken once again because his family anf friends didnt approve of us being together.
    I did find another man who loved me the way i was and we are still together but not a day goes by that i dont think of my ex fiance.
    4 years have gone by and we saw each other again and yes, we are madly in love with each other. This time, he wants to make things right and promises not to push me away even if i get sick again. He said his life is not complete without me. And i feel the same way but i am afraid that it may not work out between us just like the previous 2 times.
    Im not sure what to do. My heart tells me to go for the love of my life because when he’s not in my life, i miss him everyday. But my brain tells me to stay with my current boyfriend because he never really hurt me in any way. But im not in love with him like i am with my ex fiance.
    What should i do?

    1. Vanessa says:

      I think you should Leave your current bf. Regatd if you and your ex fiance work it Out you should let your Boyfriend find someone who loves him And does not second guess thier feelings for him. No one deserVeS to be a placeholdeR or fill a void becuase You dont want to be lonely or miss out. Let him go and you can focus on yourself and figure out your Feelings for your ex fiance. Take a break and allow yourself to be happy on your own. Happiness is dependent on oneself. And if uou end up with uoir ex Fiance great! Or you may meet someone eLse who you fall madly on love with and u wont be bRinGing along aNy emotional baggage. Either way leave your bf, if u dont feel like hes the one dont waste his tIme or yours.

  43. SkyLar says:

    My spouse has said I want out last Saturday out of the blue. This was the second time around us trying to make things work. We took different steps and approaches as to how to better communicate and show our love for one another. He has been in my life for seven years now so of course we know everything about one another. We didn’t start dating until August of last year. We broke up once in February for two months and got back together in May and that is when we took those different approaches. He wanted to start listening to marriage podcasts at least once or twice a week and discused them with one another talking about how it relates to our relationship and how we can better ourselves etc we began to communicate openly and honestly not holding anything back and the second time around I honestly felt as if we were getting better and he thought the same. Than last Saturday morning a switch or something flicked. He looked at me and said I’m done I can’t do this anymore I need to see what else is out there. My heart dropped and the tears flew. It’s been a very back and forth emotional week since it has all happened. He said he made a dating profile out of anger and was going to delete it but hasn’t yet. He wants to eventually date but will always love and want me. He wants to be single and free. He never truly had a positive thought about relationships until me. He thought all girls were dumb and relationships won’t work. He feels like i am not just another person who is in my life to help him learn and grow. Its something much more profound than that. Even though we aren’t together and we are miles apart he still feels closer to me than anyone else on this planet. He doesn’t feel like we are over He feels like this is just another chapter and its all for a reason. He says he’s too young to settle he says but I never asked for marriage or kids or anything. I just don’t know what I can do at this time and am looking for some help!He still wants to take me to dinner and do things we normally would! I told him i will not be hIs toy and not hust another girl to him he told me not to let myself be than. I have made it clear if he is dAting others i cant be arouns and he aaid what if im dating you!? None of this makes sense i need advice!

    1. Sha sha says:

      Hi! I am not sure where you are this week but I understand because I am in something similar but with a child with my ex husnand so it makes it harder. My advice to you is to still be nice but don’t loose your power by letting him just date you. Dont always be available and find other intererst with friends and family. He should come back to you the way you deserve and unfortunately some men dont realize that until months sometimes years later. So if he wants space give it to him and believe me he will come back eventually, just hopefully you are still available but thats the risk he is willing to take. What ever you do dont put your lofe on hold. Goodluck!

  44. CryStAl says:

    I met this great guy at a social event and felL in love wIth him after two weeks. He goy scared and told me that he loved talking to me and it felt like we have known each other for years. He told me he wants to take care of his parents and fOcus on his family. I told him i support him in everythIng. We were going to juSt be frIends but we COUldnt do it And fell even harder in love. We would talk tIll 5 am everyday and sleep was Never an optioN. He told me he loved me And that he wanted to marry me, but later he broke up with me telling me that i was giving the RelatioNship more than he can give at the time and that i deserve better and that he doesnt want to hurt me. He meNtioned he cant see himself settling Down and that he is too young to be in a relationship. Ive never veen so heArtbroken in my lIfe. Since then he has ignored me and unfollowed me on instagram. I dont Understand how we can go from us being so in love to hil cutting me off. I still love hom so much and i miss him more than i thOught i ever would. I feel like he is the one for me. We did talk about our timing is off, but he Still hasnt come back to me. So ladies what advice Do you have for me. He is 20 and im 24. Ive tried moving on but its been exTremely painful

  45. Elizabeth King says:

    Love spell came out tremendously, I highly recommending email:robinson.buckler @ yahoo. com for whatever problems you are experiencing in your relationship. He is the real deal. his love spell is absolutely wonderful.

  46. Pratricia says:

    My husband and I have been together for about five years. last month we got into an argument because i caught him cheating, i was heartbroken and i used to love him with all my heart, I was about to leave and asked him what’s on his agenda and he just ignored me. I got mad and cursed him out and left. He said that I am jealous and insecure which is a recurring theme in our arguments. i tried everything to repair our relationship but nothing came alright, luckily enough i was browsing on the internet and i saw testimony of clients who talked about Mr Robinson buckler, i thought may be its also one of the scamming spell caster, but my heart was restless until i contacted him and i used his spell and it worked so nice, his spell made my husband to take me back as his wife, it also made my husband to love me more, anyone who want his or her lover back should contact (……………

  47. Anonymous says:

    I must admit, this caster robinson buckler is real. i Emailed robinson.buckler when my boyfriend departed from me. but since my boyfriend came back I definitely believe robinson.buckler@ is real….

  48. Vanessa says:

    I’m here to appreciate the good work of this site for helping me to locate my helper who is Prophet Iyare. I have been having misunderstanding with my husband which leads to divorce some mouths ago, But i was unable to move on with my life because i have so much love for my husband and my kid love him too. I heard about @iyareyaresolutiontemple@gmail. com here some few Weeks ago and i decided to contact him for help and he told me what i needed to do which i did, i was so surprised when i got a call from my husband apologizing to me and told me he was going to come back to me it all seems like a dream to me thanks to Prophet Iyare i am back with my husband again and we are so happy together.

  49. Jenn says:

    Help! Im a wreck emotionally. Its been a mOnth since my boyfriend of 11mos broke up. It was my fault. I broke another promise that meant so much to him. The trust has been tarnished. However, we decIded to work on it, his plan was 30days while i get my act together by seeing a counselor and see One another 2 times a Week to see if i’ve gotten better. Then i got so worried i may lose him. So i started asking questions that drove him To just break it off. So we did again. Then now we are in contact again because i’m reaching out. He wrote back. By the way, he has blocked me on his phone, only contact is email or faceboOk message. With that i don’t pester him anymore with Questions. Just simple good mornings & i hope you have a Good day. He rePlies back. Just last night i got worried again, so i talked with some friends, they told me i had every right to Know if he still loves me, beCause i say it, and he DOesn’t say it back. So i told him, to let me know if he doesn’t want me anymore & to let me know if he moved on. His rePly, he still loves me & its a question we shouldn’t talk about now. And he’s not sure if he should take me back yet? Im conFUsed, what do you think?
    Help 🙁

    1. Meems says:

      My situation right now is Very similar! 🙁 i dont knOw what to do and i dont want to act crazy and drive him further away.

      Have things gOtten any better?

    2. Valentina says:

      Hey girl, i feel your pain. I know how tough this can be. He obviously had genuine feelings for you so you can get him back. But u have to make him miss u. I know its hard but u have to send him one more Very sweet, calm, rational, non-needy message & tell him youre sorry. Pour it out. but also that you completely understand how he Feels So youre going to let him go. Then be an acctress & walk away & dont contact him. He will be back. This never fails iF a guy really loved/loves you. In my experience it takes about 2 months. Guys need time for the brain to catch up with their hearts. Have faith!!

  50. Gras2004 says:

    ok so this relationship started in h.s. and i feel silly about it. this relationship was of 2 teens that were way over their heads. so many ppl against it and our irresponsible actions made our relation somewhat toxic. nothing drastic like abuse/drugs/cheating. just plenty of heart breaks. i was able to walk away cause it just hurt too much and besides i was aware i was only 16 (silly i know). but its been constantly reaching out to each other every 3, 4, or 5 years. i am now 27. every time we got back to ‘dating’ from an outside perspective, we just werent ready. 4 years ago, we just split and i called it quits. moved on, i have a family now. recently he came back again. i shut him out. i told him we werent friends and to go away. but i cant stop thinking about him since, every time its the same, i always wonder how happy i could be w him because of how happy i was then and everything we went through left a footprint on my ‘heart’ im not reaching out to him. my question is, is this love what im feeling? im a strong person ppl, im not running back to him. i have a beautiful family, but why cant i feel what i felt for him. it scares me knowing that i may never will. it scares me knowing that i will never love the same. it scares me to know that if i see him in person again that my heart jumps to my throat and it scares me to think that i would love for him to hug me and tell me that he’s never stopped thinking about me. sometimes idk if its love or obsession or what?

    1. debbie says:

      That’s so interesting, I feel exactly the same with a high school crush. Like you I have a beautiful family like you I’m not running back or jepordising my life now. We did meet and there was chemistry and I told him I couldn’t be his friend and ended it. But like you I think of him everyday secretly and feel that I was confused as to what love is. I’m not sure I even believed in true love until now. But like you I think is it obsession or fantasy or is this really wjat love feels like!? If I saw him I would freeze the last time we held each other I couldn’t help but feel intensely connected to him. But I can’t be his friend and it’s not very fair on me because until he doesn’t have me thenhe can see life differently and only then will I have him make a true decision.
      Don’t get me wrong I love my husband but I never thought true love existed I felt that you just grew to love someone. But now I’m confused, so is this true love I’m feeling? I’m not sure.
      We were friends in high school then drifted away, I thought of him every so often and just presumed I’d see him around, but I never did and felt foolish for not moving on as what I thought he was doing. So I met my dh and we married with children. Years later social media brought us together we met as did other hs friends but the chemistry was still there after all those years.

  51. Lana says:

    Just the other day, i let someone go in hopes they’d come back to me. He needs to take care of his life first, i told him to find Me if he’s still willing. I went looking for anSwers, proof It’s POSSIBLE that he will come back. I was looking for hope. And this article was EXACTLY what i needed. Thank you, i’ll come back and comment again if he does. I’ll move on with ny life until then.

  52. Han says:

    Hi I’m going through a very rough time myself. He and I were together since 2006 we were still in high school I loved him dearly in 2013 I start nursing school and he leaves me for 9 months worst nine months of my life then he comes back after me pleading and begging every thing was great we start looking for us a house together and so on we found one get the house and start remodeling together but then his friends got in the way I started complaining and arguing more and more everyday he became distant and more to his friends.. I got pregnant in January of this year and I’m currently have only 6 weeks left. He started partying more and not coming home from his friends house so around June I left.. left my house and him hoping that he would get a grip and grow up and come chasing after me.. that did not happen he continued his life partying and continuing to do the same things he was doing when I left.. now 4 months later he is moving out of the house and leaving it for me ?? That was never what I wanted I wanted him to come after me what do i do now.., ? He says that I argued to much for him and I took the fire out of our relationship..

    1. Jos says:

      IM really sorry to hear you’re going through this and while pregnant. Without knowing all of the details or his side ill say Although you love him, it sounds as if he has some maturing to do. It doesnt sound as though there is good communication with him or he would have given you the explanation that he felt you were nagging,etc. As a stranger, my advice would be to carry on as though the relationShip is Over. Stop chasing him or expecting anything from him, including things for the baby. Just go about things iN a positive mood on your own and with your support system. Do not let this sItuation rob you of the joys of this huge time in your life. Try to find comfort in the advice fRom this article. Stress wiLl make things Worse.
      As he sees you’re not chasing him or expecting anything from him at all, it will create enough space that hopefully he gets his act together and mans up. But you cant hold your breath or expect it. Good luck. I truly hope things work out for you.

  53. M says:

    My ex boyfriend and I were going out for 4 years this year we made 5 years in November. We have done mistakes in the past, I done more mistakes than him to be honest but recently I just kept doing little things that bothered him to the point of breaking up with me. In the beginning of our relationship I kissed two guys but I changed and I never did it again but not he seems to not trust me and everything I do was wrong. Last thing I did was going out with my friend and stayed over her house and I didn’t inform him so he broke up with me. He is very hurt at me for the things I done in the past but he told me it was so many things that added up he is tired and he doesn’t trust me. I have said sorry many times after the break up but nothing. We been broken up for 3 months already but I have tried to be friends with him for two months because he agreed to it. In those two months he was somewhat hurtful. He will mention that he will not go back with me. I was trying to fix it because I was the one that kept doing dumb things but I got tired of him saying he wasn’t going back with me. Now after two months of trying to get back with him as friends I went into the no contact. Its been a month since I haven’t contacted him. Now he came back 2 days ago telling me he wants to take of his name out of apartment lease. He helped by putting his name in the lease for my apartment. I have been living alone, the contract expires next year June but he is acting like a jerk, He told me to start looking for something because he will take him name of the lease in January. I thought he would come back but not like this. He came back in a negative way.
    I saw his best friend in the street and he didn’t want say hi to me but I said hi anyway in a happy way for him not see I am still sad about the situation, Today is birthday as well so I am pretty sure his friend will tell him he saw me. Should I let it go?

  54. S says:

    ThRee years ago I fell mutualky in love with a man. We both had dreams the noght nefore we met that were the same. He had been married to someone Who had Been madly in live wiTh somebody else and she cheated on Him in a very massive affair, but due to Having Kis together, he had stayed. Also, she fidnt want to go out and work. She did not Want to have to be independent. So when we fell in love I decided that he needEd space to figute things out. I think he was just verY confused due to “core Beliefs”, Which made him think he had to stay with her,(even though she cheated and evdn admitted she wanted that otHer guy on thier wedding night).

    Anyway, I tomd him to see a therapist and I told him I was just going to go on a long vacation and put no pRessUre on him. (He probably should have made his escape Duribg heR long affiar but he wasnt financially aBle to at that time).
    I left The state for 3 months and (though it was painfully hard to do),
    Avoided texting or calling for almost two months.

    During my absence, he fully realized he was only staying out some co-dependency but he did not love her “that way”…and never actually did.
    Plus he could never forget how she had thrown him away someone eLSe but stsyed with him Out of neediness.
    I wanted him to see with hos own heart, mInd, body, soul…what was real.

    It was the most difficuLt thing I had ever done in my life, but…by the time the three months passrd he had zero doubt that he was in a false marriage. He had been just enduring And living a lie fir many years. Plus dealing with infidelity and control issues.

    BY stepping totally out if ybe picture, it allowed him to see.

    NOw were verY happy together only, hes no longer stuck living a lie trying to find happiness. We have a very open COMMUNICATION and are totalky transpaRent with each other.

    By leaving I got the man of my dreams and he was able to see the abusive relationship which he had been in for what it was…
    (Plus now eveyone is ACTUALLY happier…even she found a more compatible match). And the kids are more at ease..
    I did not need to beg, plEaD, chase or manipulate anyThing. When its meant to be, nothing can stop love…

  55. Jenny says:

    I’m currently in the middle of something to this effect… do you gracefully let him go? just stop talking or do you say something specific? o.o

  56. E says:

    Its crazy because i literally did it all. The angery messages, i even called him to help me through the news of my aunt BeCause he was the only person wHo knows about it here at school. After reading this, i really feel as thOugh i gotta Let him focus on himself and not expect much from him. He went back to his friend after their falling off. So im sure he’ll come back even as a frienD. Just gotta put it in Gods Hands.

  57. name restricted, United States, Hollywood, California says:

    I tried Binding Love Spells every where. My lost love never returned.
    Love Spells failed. But thanks to Dr obodo. Now my lover is with me.Info
    Dr Obodo

    (James, Ca)

  58. Alexia says:


    i CRIED FOR HOURS for 2 DAYS STRAIGHT, even called off work…. THEN i FINALLY SNAPPED out of it. i WENT TO A SPA AND GOT A NICE FULL BODY MASSAGE WITH A bottle OF WINE. i WENT TO A BAR alone AND made friends with strangers . i DECIDED NOT TO HANG OUT WITH MY real FRIENDS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO SIT AND TALK ABOUT HIM anymore, i was tired of him being on my mind and I KNEW I’D CRY AND FEEL AWFUL AGAIN if i had to explain to them why i got dumped. IT WAS SO MUCH MORE FUN TALKING AND LAUGHING WITH STRANGERS WHO DIDN’T KNOW HOW HURT I WAS ON THE INSIDE. strangers who wouldn’t know to ask about him.

    WHAT HELPED ME WAS TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF TO FOCUS ON THE BEAUTY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT, not the past, not the future but the present. sO I TOOK A LONG WALK AND FOCUSED ON THE BEAUTY IN THE CLOUDS, THE SKY, THE TREES, THE DOG, THE COUPLE holding hands, THE BABY…I NEEDED TO BE PRESENT AND HAPPY IN THE now MOMENT. THE MORE I FORCED MYSELF TO BE PRESENT THE LESS I DWELLed ON WHAT WENT WRONG. sEE, THE FIRST TWO DAYS I REPLAYED THE BREAK UP in my head OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. iT WAS MY FAULT I GUESS, I WAS BEING CLINGY BECAUSE I WAS STRESSED AND HE FREAKED OUT AND SAID HE COULDN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. i didn’t get angry but i said ok and told him he should do what’s best for him. the next day i reached out and asked if he was sure he wanted to end things…he didn’t reply. I sent another text asking if he was feeling better from the flu and he replied and said yes, he was feeling better. I tried to engage in a friendly and light conversation and he just ignored everything after that. So i finally decided to let him go.

    Right now, it’s hard. I wonder if he’ll come back and i look at my phone every 5 mins to see if he texted or called…he hasn’t… and i wonder why he left over something that seemed so small and fixable. but i also thought to myself that maybe a small part of me doesn’t want him to come back…maybe i can really do better than him.

    this guy that i met at an event reached out to me for a date. he is gorgeous, educated, has a career and we seem to have many things in common. i know i’m not ready to date yet but the fact that a man like him even reached out to me gave me hope for the future. so when i fully recovered and in a good place emotional, i will slowly get to know this guy.

    ladies…just take it a day at a time. my moods change drastically from being happy and content to being sad and worrisome. but luckily, i’m learning to stay happy for much longer periods of time. and soon i’ll be happy all the time like he never existed. honestly, i’d only want him to come back for ego reasons but i could never take him back after that. i can’t trust a man who drops me so quickly over such small bumps in the road. that isn’t a man who cares about me or values me.

    i wish all of you peace and calmness…one day it won’t hurt anymore.

  59. Allie says:

    I’m so glad I found this. my boyfriend and i called it quits last night. i am extremely distraught over it as we told each other we loved each other and were inseperable. I let my anxiety, past and insecurities ruin it. he said we brought out the worst in each other. it wasn’t always like that. I’m hoping he will come back if he loves me like he said. it’s just so hard not knowing. I don’t know if the fighting and drinking will cause him to truly move on or if he will start missing the good times. I know i need to work through my anxiety and triggers and why i cause turmoil i just hope he misses me. I feel like I am my own worst enemy in relationships and I’m battling my inner demons. any advice would be great right now.

    1. Sabrina says:

      Hi Allie, may I suggest you get to the root of your problem first. You have to figure out why do you “feel like I am my worst enemy in relationships” as well as identify and overcome the “inner demons you are battling with.” Before you can start a relationship or give to anyone, YOU must be healthy yourself. If not, the unidentified issues you have will only become a part of anyone else that you bring into your life. I hope this helps.

    2. Andi says:

      I completely relate to this. The same thing happened to me. The EXACT same thing. I sabotage my own relationships too. I would focus on yourself and working on and through your anxieties and insecurities. That way whenever you have your next relationship, be it with him or someone else, it won’t be a factor. That is what I am doing. But one thing that I have been focused on is the guilt and blaming myself and feeling so bad that I ruined the relationship. Yes, I have some issues that I have to work out, but I can’t just blame myself. All relationships are two sided. You can’t blame yourself either. Forgive yourself. It all starts with forgiving yourself and being determined to be the best version of you. Not for him, but for you and because you deserve it! I don’t know you Allie, but I know that you deserve happiness. Let that happiness come from within and find it there and love will find you. This is what I am learning through my similar experience. <3

  60. NQ says:

    The love of my life came bAck after 20 years! He told me he loved me after our 2.5 hour conveRsation. He never forgot me or the love And nice MEMORIES we sHared. i accomplished so much on focusing on myself, i TRAVELED, have 2 degrees, own a home and have an amazing career. It felt so good to hear from him. I’m not sure what will happen to us when we meet again. LiFe can go on, as hard as it may seem when you are letting him go.

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  62. Elizabeth says:

    This is a bit of a complication for me. You see, the man i find myself cherishing has come back, but neither of us are ready to face the matter of the distance between us in a serious relationship, despite having mutually confessed to each other that the love is still there. he came back to me after about a year, initially because of something as simple and wanting his best friend back. during the time we began talking again, he found another girl to talk to and ended up in a short RELATIONSHIP. it was only after their two months of dating and another two months of us talking that he openly confessed his feelings for me as i had to him. currently we are living in a state of slight confusion on what to do. He loves me but he isn’t ready to settle down with 800 miles between us, and i love him but i am scared of the distance just as much and it is preventing the two of us to moving forward. i find this an ABSOLUTE CATASTROPHE and i don’t know how to deal with it because i would very well accept the offer for a relationship with him despite the distance, though we already quite act like we have one.

  63. Phanna Monigan says:

    We were both so young when we started dating, i had just turned 17 and he was 18 still a virgin. The BEGINNING of our time together he was always drunk and i had cheated on him twice. That was our first break up and we ended back together. Before we know it a year goes by we are homeless and we have a cat and a dog together. We still have them now. I say we because at the moment we are still living together. A while AFTER we get the animals we end up getting off the STREETS. We have a home together and he ask me to marry him… He told me I was the girl for him and he wouldn’t find anyone like me.
    I’m just sooo confuse of whats happening with my life… I love this man and he SUPPOSEDLY loved me… Then why is he doing this??
    I know if its MEANT to be he will come back but i just need some support to help me be strong. I really do love him with everything in me…
    Someone please, help me with this pain

  64. Chonita says:

    I recently broke up with my boyfriend, I was the one that broke up with him in anger, I didn’t want to I was upset with him, but he said he doesn’t want me to come back, I pleaded to make up since I was the one that left him so I thought it was the right thing to do for me to be the one to make up. He was really committed to me even found the promise ring to put on me. After I pleaded for another chance after I broke his trust of leaving him every time I get upset (4times total but we get back the next day or two afterward), we are 4hrs long distance apart which is not a big problem because we could still see each other often when we can. Anyway after we had a heart felt conversation about everything 5days ago he said he can give me another chance but we have to start over as a “date” not in a relationship, it still hurt me knowing there’s no guarantee if we ever get back together. He still said “I love you” and I still love him. I heard of no contact rule as well can this still apply to my situation? what if he’s doing the same thing? I am so lost and confused…..What can I do? or just what to do?
    We dated for about 4 months but he fell very hard for me and was very committed, talked about marrying me and have our own family. We have alot of common interests and have done so much traveling together in just short time. It has been 5 days we are still friends on Facebook, Instagram, all our pictures are still on each other’s timelines. He motivated me so much to be a better version of myself, I am working on myself, I have work, online school for my degree, gym and other hobbies I would do to distract myself. But it still wouldn’t stop me from wondering if we are ever going to get back together because I love him so much…..We don’t cheat, I am not needy, also we don’t get jealous/insecure. I have all the qualities he needed in a woman to be married to (I am 26 he is 28) but I have flaws and anger that controls my actions. What is my chance of getting back with my ex ?

  65. Sandi says:

    I’m in a situation here, I’m hoping someone can shed some light.

    I’ve been friends this guy for almost two years. He is my neighbour, he is 29 and I’m 21 this year, he and I were very very good friends. I’d go to his house and we’d watch movies, cook and stuff. He was my confindante and always gave me good advice on everything. We had such chemistry. I really really liked him. He confessed to having feelings for me in the beginning and wanted us to be in a proper relationship and spoke of marriage as he wasn’t getting younger (his words) but at the time of his confession I was in a relationship with someone else, whom I truly loved and it was my first boyfriend, he broke my virginity.

    Anyway so the relationship with first bf became rocky and he wasn’t treating me right. I always ran to my neighbour friend and despite his feelings for me he’d support me and advice me on what to do. In a moment of vulnerability I kissed him and later regretted it. I began to really fall for my him, I loved his character, humour and enjoyed his company. But breaking up with my bf was so difficult because I loved him too despite his mistreatment. My bf found out about the kiss and our relationship went south. We didnt break up and i didn’t my neighbour to be the reason for leaving my bf. My neighbour friend finally gave up on pursuing me after two years and moved to another province. We’d still talk from time to time. Before he left he texted me “let me know when you’re ready for me to love you”. A year later I finally broke up with my bf but I then began to really miss my neighbour friend at that time he had moved on, got a new gf and new job..he looked happy on social media. I texted him to say “Hi” and he responded “how are you” I told him “I miss you” and said he missed me too. I asked him “do you hate me” and he said “I could never, I was a bit resentful that you didn’t want to be with him but had to respect your wishes and loyalty to your bf”, I told him I was ready to be with him. He called and said he’s gonna come for Easter Holiday in April and we’d talk.

    He came, we spoke and he told me he was with someone now and said that I needed time to heal from my previous relationship. I knew he was right because I was still hurting from the breakup with my bf but that not what I wanted to hear. I cried and told him “but I love you and you said you’d be with me when I was ready, I am now!” he kissed me and said he knows and he still does but not when I’m an emotional wreck.
    I told him I was hurt by him saying that.

    He left and went back to his new province. It been 7 months now and I’m just missing him so much. He called me a couple of months ago but I let it go to voicemail. I just couldn’t talk to him. I just some how feel like he’s partially responsible for my relationship going south because my bf became really insecure after learning about the kiss. And didn’t trust me. But at the same time he had been cheating continously.

    Anyway my neighbour friend’s still with his gf and is still 6hours away from me. I loathe myself for not giving him a chance at this point. I felt tempted to text him yesterday but I held back. Please can anyone help me. What do I do? I’m sorry for this long post.
    Thank you.

    1. Someone in love says:

      Just recently my husband of 9 years said he feels differently towards me. I love him and this is hardest thing to do, to let him go. I know what we had is real and relationship was never toxic or bad, it was beautiful. I hope he comes back to me.

  66. Lola says:

    My ex broke up with me after 3 years together because he lost feelings. Now he never told me this for two months when we were together I thought everything was great, his behavior did not change. He kept saying “I love you , I miss you blah blah.” Basically he was stringing me along for two whole months. So later in Ohio ct ober he went out of state when he met a girl. He exchanged number with her , when he came back he did not me anything for a week. I felt something was wrong but I brushed it off(stupid move.) After that he broke up with me to pursuit the other girl, he told me because I asked for the truth. During our relationship I had some insecurities, jealousy, and anger problem only because I was hurt in the past. I also beleive I pushed him away but I showed him how much I loved him. He has a complex character that I understood. Many people would call him cold but he is just a realist. It’s has been a month and I miss him dearly. Anybody with similar story and advice? I really want him back but in the mean I am focusing on myself and I have gotten a lot better for me. I want to show him that I did but he deleted me off facebook because of a mistake and we no longer talk.

    1. Charismatic Cary says:

      I am kinda going through a similar thing right before our one year we broke up and he said its cause he doest feel the same he said he misses me wants to be with me and is hurting but he needs space and time so confusing.

  67. Kay says:

    These stories brought tears to my eyes I’m currently going through a bad breakup. Everything was going great one day he just told me that I was amazing an he loves an always will love me but he had things to fix an that was the last time we talked. Sometimes I seat an wonder what I did wrong or what he needed to fix.. I

  68. Krystal says:

    QUESTION: my first true love and I were engaged to be married and something happened and he had to leave state quick. He called me six months later and wanted me to come be with him but I couldn’t. I was only 15. A year later, I was still depressed and wanted to get over him. I started dating one of my best friends. I was 16 and wanted out of my house so I got engaged to merry him. Moved out, been married to him for 15 years now with 3 children. It has been the hardest marriage ever. We have has major issues in the past two years and I stuck around because I don’t want to hurt anyone and for my kids. This past August my first love found me. All those feeling came rolling in. There hasn’t been a day I have not thought of him. When we first saw each other again, the connection was amazing. Like we never parted. I have already fell out of love with my husband but he had asked me to give him another chance. My first love and I went seperate ways so I can try to work on my marriage. It has now been 1 month and as my husband has changed a lot of ways for the better, I still can’t find that love we once had. All I do is want to be with my first love. Please help me. Give me some insight. I am scared of hurting anyone.

  69. Raya says:

    This is beautiful.

    My ex and I have had an on-and-off relationship for what would have been two years together. Every time we had broken up was because he felt very insecure about himself and his future. He has wanted to join the Marines but there were a bunch of things that prevented him from actually joining. He ended up living with a woman he considered his second mom and getting a full time job but it didn’t seem to suffice. Our last breakup was the breaking point. He still felt the same way about his life but this time he felt like he was holding me back because he wasn’t accomplishing anything (Btw I’m 22 and he’s 21). We are both truly in love with each other and he even considers me his soulmate. The break up was hard on both of us and even harder on me because of course I want to support and motivate him. But he wanted to become a man and figure his life out. He truly felt that he couldn’t maintain a relationship while trying to find his manhood. So we broke up. He told me that he loves me and he will find me and come to me when he is ready. He says he believes that no matter what we will get get married but he needs time to find who he is. I can respect that but I also question if he’ll ever come back. Part of me is certain and the other part just doesn’t know. I hope he does because he is my soulmate and best friend.

  70. Mei says:

    I just wanted to share my story and hope that it helps someone else.
    My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 7 years. We were high school sweethearts and hooked up in our Freshmen year. During our relationship, about 1 year was long distance, but we always managed. Towards the end of our relationship, I was in college, and he was just working. We lived together, but in an effort to finally pursue his career choices, he wanted to move. During the last few weeks, I became scared and anxious. The yelling and arguing continued. All I saw was that he was leaving me, and I never wanted to be apart from him. With my overbearing emotions, he completely shut down and altogether stopped communicating. When he finally moved out, we were on okay terms. Kissed and hugged each other goodbye, said we loved each other, and he promised to call. I got text messages, and I kept on waiting for his call which never came. Because of both of our prides and ego, we refused to call each other. “Emotions run high, logic runs low.” When I finally called (4 days later), I got no reply and no answer. I was then blocked from his cell phone. I thought that he was hurting, and he needed his space and time. Within a week, I had received the break-up text with no explanation whatsoever.
    Three weeks later, I decided that I would fly down to see him just to figure things out and come up with a solution. When I came back, he had told me that he already had a new girlfriend (his coworker) within a week of leaving. I was crushed and heart broken. I flew back home empty, cried for days, stopped eating, and just stopped living life altogether. After I had found out about his relationship, he deleted all the pictures on social media and then posted his new relationship status with his new gf. After that, he blocked me and deleted me off of all social media. For me, it became even harder to function.

    It has been two months since the break up, and I’ve gotten a lot stronger. i just wanted you all know that it hurts! When you love someone so much and they leave, it will hurt! I isolated myself for a month and realized that it’s not gonna make things better. I haven’t dated anyone else. And I’ve taken time to focus on myself, started working out, and focusing on entering my graduate program next year. I wanted to hold onto him so much, but the fact is we have to let go. Within two months, I’ve reflected a lot on our relationship, about my problems, about his problems, and about our problems in general. I’m not bitter about my ex leaving me. In fact, I’ve come to accept the fact that he will always have a special place in my heart. I am very thankful to have been with him because the past 7 years were a blessing. I’ve taken a lot of time to pray and to learn to be forgiving. Whether or not you want to be with your ex again is completely up to you, but we just need time to let our emotions cool and think clearly. All I can say is don’t give yourself false hope that he/she will come back, and just let go and move on. Stop contacting! You have to be in the mindset that they won’t come back, and you’ll see yourself become a little bit brighter.

    If you are in a relationship, don’t let arguments and fights get in the way of your love. For our relationship, it was extremely difficult because we were going to be in a LDR again, and I had already made things worse by yelling. Don’t be afraid to communicate with each other, and not “communicate” as in yell and argue. Honestly, I said things I didn’t mean because I was afraid of him leaving me (as in physically, not the relationship). He wanted to focus on himself, and he had goals. But I let my fear of separation get in the way of seeing a much brighter future for him. Don’t let your ego stop you from making that phone call because that could mean never speaking to each other again.

    1. Meng says:

      Hi Mei,I am going through the exact same situation as u. Being with him for 7 years but we were in LDR for almost 5 years. I am working overseas and he, on the other hand, committed to his family business. We have plan to get married in 2 years time and I will move back and settle down in our hometown. Everything was good until I suspected him seeing someone else but he was telling me there was nothing between them so I have chosen to trust him. But 2 months down the road, I too, became scared and anxious, whenever he was not replying my text msges, I will start thinking nonsense. So we had arguments and once again, I saw their pics in his cell phone when we met again. He felt very sorry and just remained silent. After a temporarily break, i figured I can forgive and forget, hence I asked for reconciliation but he insisted of breaking up. He has changed, he has been a really good man but now he seems rebellious. I was heart broken and he seems happy now (spotted from FB). For now, I know I have to let him go, not just because I have no choice, but I think he really wanted this break. I hope that he will find himself again and focus on his career. I am moving on but at the same time having faith that we will meet again one day. Let’s stay strong together! All the best Mei.

    2. Anakole says:

      I keep reading how women are able to overcome the hurt from their previous relationships after just a few short months. I want to be the voice for the ladies who have yet to find their peace and comfort. It’s been six months since my ex and I ended our relationship. I replay that day over and over in my head. He was from Europe, and we were just a few months shy of our second year anniversary.

      I met him three months after coming out of the most toxic relationship I had ever been in. I was so emotionally beat down, that I never thought I could possibly meet someone who could make my heart whole again.

      Then he came. He built my confidence and self esteem back up, healed my heart so much it was overflowing with love for this man. I knew I had met my soulmate. He took me back home to meet his friends and family and we spent a wonderful two weeks there. We planned our life together. I never imagined it ending.

      Then, one weekend we went camping, I could tell things weren’t right. He was disengaged completely. I asked the one question that I, even at that period of time, did not want to hear the answer to. “Do you want to take a break?” — “yes, I think we need a permanent break.”

      My heart melted into the pit of my stomach. I was an absolute wreck, I couldn’t eat without becoming sick and the nightmares were so bad that I had to seek psychiatric help to feel better. I replayed that weekend over and over in my head, and I just couldn’t shake the fact I not only lost my lover, I lost my best friend in this whole world too. I saw him weeks later to pick up my belongings from his place and he told me that he lied to me.. he knew he would have to go back home and basically told me that it would be too hard to take me with him and he just didn’t want to deal with that. We cried, I left, and six months later I still have a void in my heart I can’t fill. In every person I date, I look for him and never find that person who touched a part of my soul no one else has.

      I keep the faith that one day he will realize he doesn’t want to take the easy way out anymore, and come back to me. Then a part of me wonders, will I even want him back once he does? Of course I will, if it is true love and I haven’t found that in another person.

      Luckily for me, I am able to lose all contact with him. I won’t bump into him on the street, or run into his friend. I don’t have to see who he is in a relationship with (if he does become) because he is blocked from all of my social sources. This blog really helps to reassure that no matter how bad you hurt, time really does heal all. He may come back, and if not, I’ll be okay too. 🙂

  71. S says:

    Wow. I am so glad I found this. I was talking to this guy I had met at work and I truly felt that that we had the most amazing connection. I honestly thought he could be the one. In June I left cross country for grad school and we still continued talking. Before I left I asked him where we stood and he was very unsure of the whole long distance dating. We hung out again when I came home in September and things seemed great but in November when I came back I could tell something was different because he wasn’t affectionate and distant. A week after I leave again he tells me that he is dating someone new and it hurts so much. How do you even deal with the pain? Is it stupid of me to want to be friends with him because I want him to come back to me someday? The problem is I won’t even move back home until 2019. He is a someone I would have waited for but I’m not sure if all this is just going to hurt even more. What if he ends up marrying this girl? I feel like such a fool.

  72. Breathe says:

    Well I undergo the same problem.. Well I was in love with a guy and he had to be in love with a girl already but he was not happy with the girl .. So I just spoke with him and we became friends and we shared all our problems and later we were about to fall in love but then he said he was not interested as he was loving the girl and couldn’t ditch her. And he just left me .. I miss him badly and I know that he will miss me too but still I am not sure that will he come back to me…

  73. Natalie says:

    Hey girls – I just came across this page and I’m going through heartbreak. It’s makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone.

    It’s the worst pain ever! I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.

    It’s happened like this – Me and my “ex” boyfriend have recently split this month, he broke up with me. We were together for 5 years. I was inlove with him, I still am. We did everything together, we lost our virginity to each other, we wanted to marry, have children in the future.

    He didn’t have the best job, he searched hard for a job until one day around August this year he found a job. He was working most days at night we sort didn’t see each other as much as we used to. I trusted him, I knew he wouldn’t do anything. He had been working at this job for around 4 months until last week he was acting different. I called him up at work because I got a missed call from him I said “what’s wrong” his reply “sorry I called by accident” I heard a girl in the back ground saying “what’s wrong?” And immediately he said to me “I have to go I’ll call you back later”. I heard the girl in the background and I thought well I can’t jump to conclusions yet, I knew I trusted him. But I got jealous and upset I sent him a message saying ” who was that girl?” He got angry and told me I shouldn’t doubt his loyalty towards him and that I was pissing him off. But I think a lot of girls would doubt and be worried, I mean my boyfriend of 5 years we started to break away I never saw him like we used to see each other every single day. We were so in love with each other it hurts when I am writing this because after the argument happened he come out to me and said “I need time, I need to figure out what I want” I said please, we can figure it out together, I knew he was going to leave me. He said “I need time to miss you” I couldn’t even understand it, why would he need time to miss me when we haven’t seen each other for so long since his been at work? He had ignored me for the few days after that, until one morning I woke up to a message beginning with “after a lot of thinking I’m deciding to end this relationship….” my heart just broke. The feeling you cannot describe. I was a million different emotions. I tried to think why? I asked him is there someone else, he said yes. I found out that night there was another girl and my boyfriend and her had been going on for quite a while at work.

    Obviously since he wasn’t seeing me he had fallen for another girl. My boyfriend had been lying to me about places he was going and where he was because he was out with her. He had been buying her jewellery, taking her out for breakfast all the things that we used to do now was all on her. He had been telling this girl he loved her. And she had been sending him naked photos of herself to him right after he broke up with me, I went on to his Facebook account and saw all the messages because I was so angry. I was shaking, I wanted to throw up. I saw everything, even she would say something like “I love you so much you are amazing” and he would say “marry me” I just couldnt believe it, I could believe my happiness was in another girls hands.

    Out of anger I messaged my boyfriend and said “I hope you and (her name) are happy. I’ll always love you” and he got so angry and starting swearing at me that I went on his Facebook. I know it was wrong, but I needed to. I probably shouldn’t of, he hurt even more. Sometimes it’s better to not see.

    He told me to never contact him again, he told me that she is better than you’ll ever be, and that I need to move on. I can’t believe he is telling me to move on straight away, it was so fresh. He hung up the phone on me, I just cried and cried.

    Later that night I rang him up and apologised he said it’s okay. I said I’m sorry for going on to your Facebook. He said it’s okay. I said can we still be friends? He said yes but give it time. I asked him will you always be there for me? He said yes, always. I said I love you and he said I love you too, we hung up.

    I still was such an emotional wreck, I haven’t eaten properly for 2 weeks, I’ve lost so much weight and I don’t have an appetite.

    Everything reminds me of him, everywhere I go. I love him. I miss him so much, he was my best friend. Every night he appears in my dream like the break up never happened. My dreams are me and him happy, being together in love.

    I know that after a break up you’re suppose to have no contact for atleast 30 days, it was so hard for me I kept calling him up and just looking for an excuse to talk to him, I got so upset and angry I said to him “why did you do this to me?” He didn’t say anything. I asked him “did you leave me for her or because you want to figure out your life?” He said “I left you because I wasn’t happy”. I just went quiet. I just cried and said I loved him and I wanted to marry him, I wanted to have children. He said he doesn’t care, it’s over. He is always telling me to move on, move on, move on. all the time. It’s killing me that I’m so broken and he doesn’t care it’s like I was nothing to him. He said to me “I have someone else now” and hung up.

    To this day I haven’t spoken to him, I miss him so much. I know you’re all thinking why would you care? He didn’t love you. But for some reason I feel like he does I don’t know. He seems to be happy with this new girl, it hurts me even more. I am so in love with him. I just can’t believe it’s over.

    I don’t know but something tells me maybe they won’t last together, maybe he didn’t realise, of course when you never see each other you might find someone else but he didn’t need to treat me this way. He just walked out on me so happy and it’s so hard for me to move on. I can’t live my life thinking he will come back or their relationship won’t last but I believe if it’s meant to be, it will be.

    I just want to know if he still thinks about me.

    Time heals everything, I know, I can’t depend my happiness on him. But I just don’t ever want to not contact or see him again. He was an amazing man. He will hold a very special place in my heart.

    I’m just so upset and broken. He seems so happy without me.

  74. Asia says:

    So true, I was with my ex husband at 15 had a child, we were together for 4 years married divorced, fought like hell for 15 years, married other people, started respecting each other, n my daughter graduation, we got back together. Never been happier in my life.

  75. Amanda says:

    Lol yeah right my crush left three years ago he came back told me he compared other women to me if they didn’t have my eyes mouth lips he wasn’t attracted he told me he loved me and I was beautiful and he got lost with me but he left again recently

  76. Traci Leigh says:

    I connected with my true love a year and a half ago after knowing each other in high school 25 years ago. He was recently separated and I was taking some me time (a year) after a 12 year relationship and engagement. I had my doubts of starting a relationship with him until he was divorced which would take a year. In the process of selling his house that he had with his wife and 12 year old daughter, I told him he could move in with me and we can see how our relationship goes and if we have a future together. The house was big enough, he could have had his own room. Well, that was last December. His house sold in early January 2016. He moved in with me after pulling the disappearing act for a month. I believe in no-contact so, he contacted me at the end of January. I was moving way too fast and he was just recently separated that September. Let’s just say it has been a rollercoaster ride for a year now. He is a mans man and he was having separation issues with being apart from his daughter. He would stay with me for a month, leave for a month or two and live at a friends house that he rented. I kept pushing him to move in and start a future and he clearly was not ready. This type of living schedule finally ended in September when he ghosted again for two weeks. Well, that was enough for me. What things he had at my house, I packed his two suit cases full of his clothes and a couple of shopping bags full of clothes. I went to the UPS store and the clerk put everything in one big huge box and I shipped it to him. Not cheap either, $145, but it was worth it..No contact. Just go away.
    He texted me after he received the shipment saying he was sorry and that he feels he is hates how his career is going and he wants to look for another job and other issues but he loves me, that we are soul mates. He said we need to start over he filed for divorce and everything seemed to be ok for the last five months. We were both going to start saving and paying off our debts so that we can buy a house together in the future after his divorce and while we were living apart. Well, he ghosted again on January 28, 2017, I have not heard from him since and it has been16 days. I know we loved each other and I do regret getting involved with him while he was only separated even though from what he told me his marriage was over and they both wanted a divorce. My gut is telling me that he is not following thru with his divorce and maybe he went back to his wife and daughter. My problem is that, he pursued me for that last two years and now, he has hurt me by disappearing. I will not contact him. I miss him so much and the plans I thought we were going to have in the future. I have never had to worry and wonder about a man and what he is doing on a daily basis. I am too busy with my career to have to these things consume me and have to wonder what he is doing..Geez, we are in our 40’s..I just think that he is a coward for not opening up to me and I will never, ever forgot what he has done to me this time and today is Valentine’s Day. No text nothing..He is gone this time for good and I am left behind with all of the what if’s and what happened..

    Thanks for listening everyone…Traci Leigh

  77. Lauren l says:

    I was left yesterday by my person. He is my world. The most amazing man. Sexy, funny, treats me well. We havent has the easiest relationship. He has an ex wife and a son. It was very hard for me to come around to. It was new so it caused some issues. I had an awful childhood and an awful past relationship making me have trust issues. I told him that i dont trust him 100% and he left. He said a relationship without trust is nothing. I agree but i just need more time to let him in. Our relationship is amazing though. I treat him like a king, our sex is out of this world. He just told me two days ago that he has never loved anyone like this, that he cherishes our relationship more than he did his past marriage. He has a huge heart but last night as he left he was so cold and cruel to me. Acting as though he is fine and that he will move on. I know he isnt okay but him acting like this hurts me so bad. I cant sleep, i cant eat. The thought of him never being with me kills me. We are each others best friends. The love we have is insane. I just cant get over that he left. I want to believe he will come back because our realtionhip was great, but i know i shouldnt get my hopes up. I want to tell him that i will seek outside help for my trust issues, which i will because i know they cause issues, but i feel he doesnt care.

  78. Drsh says:

    I hv been wit my boyfriend for 8 years now and we hv lived together for 8 years..tiz past weeks he has not coming back home as he used to..even if he does he juz sleeps off..he doesnt talk to me and argues wit me all d time..he acts as if he hates me..wen i asked him he gets defensive and angry and creates a huge scene..i juz dont know what to left hanging..pls advice me what to do regarding tiz .. thnx evryone

  79. Nicky says:

    This weekend my boyfriend of 2 years called things off due to “not being IN love” with me. While he still went way out of his way for Valentine’s Day the week before and showed no evidence that this was coming, would even make references of us getting old together. He said he needs to figure himself out and thinks we need some space. He said he’s not exactly had time to himself and that he doesn’t see it working out in the future, mind you our relationship had no problems. We traveled, explored new places together, attend college together. Although recently he had just turned 21 and still keeps switching what he wants to be and do in life. He’s been stressing for awhile on what he wants to do and I think it has gotten in the way of our relationship. I’m sad but also know maybe we both need space to kind of figure things out. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Just completely blindsided by it because the day before seemed nothing more than normal.

  80. Charlize says:

    Hi all,

    I’m so happy that I came across this wonderful and insightful article, as I’m currently going through something pertaining to this.

    I met this guy from an online dating site in early January of this year, and we finally met up and hit it off. I had actually seen him in passing before, and he actually works with one of my family members (it’s such a small world!), so we had some stuff in common right off the bat. And after our first date, I instantly felt something for him. Now, I’m not saying it was love at first sight, but I felt that there was definitely a strong chemistry between us. So he started calling me nearly everyday over the course of 4 weeks, and he would text me everyday to check in and see how my day was going. We saw each other 2-3 a week over 4 weeks—whenever we had free time, we would spend it together. We both said that we only wanted to date each other, so we were exclusive, but not “official.”

    He even offered to help me move during the week into my new place, which was nice of him. That showed me that he cared and wanted to help me in any way he could. So at the 4-week mark, we come upon the “what are we?” conversation, and he tells me that he’s not ready for a serious relationship and isn’t sure when he will be, but that he really likes me and cares about me. He said that the way his life is now, he’s not emotionally or mentally ready for a serious relationship with anyone. A little backstory on him: he’s in his early 30s and has a child that’s a toddler, and he’s currently not where he wants to be in his life for a few reasons. And I knew all of this going into it, but I saw potential in us, so I accepted him for all that he was.

    Anyway, I reacted very viscerally and I seriously regret it. I wasn’t understanding of his situation and acted immaturely in my reaction. I felt absolutely horrible, and that night didn’t end well, to say the least. But I could still tell that he wanted to continue seeing me and getting to know me. So the next afternoon, I sent him a text apologizing for my reaction, telling him that respect and understand his situation, because I do. And that I want to continue getting to know him. He responded very well to this and said that there was no need for me to apologize, and that he’s very glad he’s met me and wants to continue getting to know me as well.

    But over the past few weeks, he’s definitely been distancing himself from me. He doesn’t call or text like he used to—the last text I got from him was nearly two weeks ago. And it still kind of hurts, but this article definitely helped me come to terms with the fact that if it’s meant to be, he will come back. And I have to live my own life and not feel guilty for how things transpired between us. Thanks, Kimberly, for your positive perception of when someone you really like or love pulls away from you. It’s painful, but I’m just letting him go and if he comes back and I still want him, I am definitely willing to give it another try. 🙂

  81. Cloudence says:

    I dated who i thought was my everything for 7/8 years. 10 years ago we broke up. He just drifted away and then refused to have any discussion about what he thought was not working. He wouldn’t have any of it and just wanted out. I had to let it go for my own sanity. He left me for someone else and we had not been in touch for 10 years. When I moved out of the flat we shared, i asked me not to be in touch with me either again. He wouldn’t have this talk, he was already seeing someone else when we hardly split the china. I did not want him to mess up with my mind any further. It hurt, I felt rejected, humiliated and unloved. I worked on myself, reflected on the life we shared and what the issues would have been, and little by little rebuilded some kind of confidence. I did great on the other aspects of my life, not on my love life but 1 years ago i finally forgave myself and moved on! I was stronger and ready for a steady relationship. My social life went even better! i always had loads of friends. I was finally ready to date and put myself out there and have expectations from a relationship. And Boom, the ex emailed me few months ago … 10 years later! I always thought that we were meant to be but i had to let him go and figure things out. 10 years however was quite a long time so i had to accept that it was not meant to be and now i am in such a confused state. And he acts like he hasn’t figures it out completely either which troubles me even more. Right now, we are not talking but i feel that this is not the end of it. Am i willing to give it another try, when he is ready yet. because i think that it is meant to me. Am i stupide and naïve. Maybe but i am open to love again and if it is not him, it will be someone else.:)

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