Should you date a friend? Well, ladies, let’s think about this for a second…
Are you two compatible? I’m not talking about physically. Forget how you two may look together. I’m referring to what you two value, and your morals. Are they aligned with one another? Has this ever come up in conversation? And if so, do you two have more or less in common than you thought?
By: Erika Hunter
All of these things are important to consider when you’re thinking about dating a friend. Dating a friend can be great, or it can be the opposite. However, if you’re looking for a friendship to blossom into something greater, it is important for you to look at the entire picture.
Some people make the mistake of thinking that just because you’re friends, you are destined to be more than. This is not always true.
Take my good guy friend and me, for example. We have been friends now for about three years.
Is it true love or just an attachment? Find out here.
Not too long into our friendship, I started developing feelings for him. I told him of my feelings and at the time, they weren’t mutual. (Talk about awkward!)
As time went on, however, he eventually grew “in like” with me. We occasionally talked about taking our relationship to the next level, but for a number of reasons, we hadn’t.
In fact, we had gone through a season of trying to make it work, but came up against bumpy roads. And in the end, we decided to just remain friends.
As we are now working on our friendship, we have found that this is a solid foundation.
It is okay to date a friend when that friend is truly your friend.
What I mean by that is, you know each other like the back of your hand. You know what makes the other tick, if and when they aren’t communicating something, what makes them the happiest, and how to get them giggling when their facial expression shows sadness.
It is important that you know your friend first, before you hop into something that can potentially become long-term.
My friend and I didn’t quite know each other at this level.
Dating a friend can be tricky.
It can even be frightening because you’re taking the risk of losing two people in one (your friend and your partner).
However, I’ve come to learn that if you live in fear of the future, you will miss out on the opportunities of the present.
Sure, it may be a risk, but if the person is worth it to you, it ought to be a risk that you’re willing to take.
If dating a friend is on the horizon for you, take it slow. Spend time getting to know each other as friends. And should anything result from it, be intentional about making it beautiful.
Friendships are great and so are relationships, but if you make the mistake of putting all of your attention into a potential relationship (like me) and not the friendship, you will lose out on both.
Be attentive to your friendship and rid yourself of the pressure of making it more. Sometimes, the blessing is just found in the friendship and that, my friend, is okay.
How will you tend to the friend whom you’ve developed feelings for? Let us know in the comments below!