How often do you expect good things to happen to you?
Do you go about your day with an open mind and a positive attitude? Or, do you tend to expect the worse so you can be “pleasantly surprised” if something goes well? While there’s no “right” way to live or think, there are certain approaches to both that can bring more blessings and nurture positive expectations.
However, if you have trouble visualizing the best outcome, you may want to create a plan to change that.
By: Stephanie Sandoval
Have you ever heard the saying, “If you’re looking for something, you’ll find it”?
Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, in the literal sense, it’s not always the case. But when it comes to perspective and attitude, it is simply good and true.
Depending on your outlook and attitude, your day can go very well or be the worst day this month. A person who constantly focuses on and looks for negative things… will always find them. Why? Simply because if you’ve made up your mind that negative things are going to happen, you’ll subconsciously find a way to justify your thinking, saying to yourself, “See? That went badly. Just as I expected.”
But, do you really want to be that person who feels validated because she’s able to prove her negative mindset “right”?
A person who focuses on her blessings, however, may just find that there are many more blessings than he or she realized.
In short, you have the power to see blessings or disasters. And in that, you have the power to bring more of either into your life.
Psychologist Dr. Jennice Vilhauer led an insightful Ted Talk.
“It’s the expectations of the future that limit you most,” she said.
If you walk into a situation defeated, then you are likely to have a negative experience. But if you command the situation with confidence, things could be great.
More on KimberlyElise.com: The Power of Positive Thinking
In order to take control of your future, Dr. Vilhauer proposes these three steps:
Step 1. Think about the event. What do you expect to happen?
If you have a positive visualization of the event, then you probably feel joy and excitement. You may feel light and a sense of freedom. On the other hand, if anxiety sets in over this upcoming event, then you may want to continue reading.
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford
To learn how to practice the art of visualization, read How to Achieve Inner Peace During a Crisis
Step 2. Ask yourself: What would I like to happen instead?
Let’s say that you are thinking about a job interview. The outcome that you probably want is to get that job. But Dr. Vilhauer brings up a good point:
What you want is oftentimes the very thing that you are not expecting.
Why? We may find it an impossible feat, we may think we don’t deserve to be rewarded, or we probably are thinking about a time when we didn’t get the job after the interview. The last reason is something I have been guilty of. Often, it’s easy to think of past experiences and react based on those experiences that weren’t so amazing.
“Relax and dream up a good life.” – Jim Carrey
Step 3. This step allows you to take control of your future. You need to ask yourself: What do I need to do to make what I want a reality?
“When you see a plan laid out in front of you for how to get what you want, your assessment of the situation starts to change. You begin to see the possibility.” – Dr. Jennice Vilhauer.
Having a plan and being prepared helps me all the time.
Another thing that I learned from reading Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret is to write about an upcoming event in your life as if it already happened.
Before an upcoming interview, I write about the interview as if it were a scene from a play. I write the interviewer’s questions and my responses. I repeat this scene in my head until I learn it. In my mind, it is exactly what is going to happen. I feel prepared and all the anxiety and fear diminishes. If I answer in a confident and knowledgeable manner, then things are bound to go in my favor.
Sometimes life is magical and certain things feel like they’re meant-to-be. Find out more on Seeing the Magical Coincidences That Bring Us Joy.
This is my plan of action, what’s yours? Have you ever turned around a bad day just by changing your perspective? Share with us in the comments!