What are the ideal traits of a husband or wife?
You might say, “a man who makes me laugh,” or “a woman who works out,” which is great! But, have you thought about your potential partner’s deeper qualities?
When choosing a partner, think about your potential husband or wife’s character, not just their charming personality.
A partner with a strong sense of character will treat him or herself, you, and possibly your children with devotion and respect. Here are a few non-negotiables for a future wife or husband.
By: Ajableu Oldham
5 Traits To Look For In A Future Wife Or Husband
1. Commitment To Personal Growth
The man or woman of your dreams may not be perfect. He or she might not be exactly where he or she wants to be in life, in terms of finances or career. He or she might have even made some mistakes in the past.
A partner who is committed to personal growth will develop and mature from his or her life experiences, and in doing so, will become a stronger, wiser person.
He is the man who reflects on his past actions, thinks seriously about his mistakes, and makes the necessary changes to improve his life.
She is the woman who pushes her boundaries and challenges herself to achieve her dreams.
A partner who isn’t committed to personal growth will be “stuck” in old behaviors, or an old mindset. This kind of partner will not help you grow.
When problems confront the relationship, the person who is committed to personal growth will want to work on the problems with you, at your side, rather than turn away.
When a person who is committed to personal growth is challenged with life hurdles, he or she will face them head on, and learn from them.
Being with such a partner will help you grow, too. And together, you will evolve.
2. The Capacity To Love You In The Right Ways
Rather than asking yourself if you are loveable (you are!), you need to ask yourself, “Is the person in my life prepared to love me in the way that I need?”
Some people are not prepared to love. The romance might be exciting, but once times get hard or disagreements occur, they won’t be present for you in the ways that you need.
Perhaps they are not mature enough, or perhaps they are still working through past pains.
If it’s the case, you shouldn’t waste your time. Instead, spend your time finding a partner who has the emotional capacity to love you in the ways that you need.
Do you need a partner who is capable of not yelling in an argument?
Do you need a partner who is prepared to be intimate in the ways that you need?
Do you need a partner who is prepared to talk in the ways and about the subjects that you want?
A partner who is prepared to truly love you will do his or her best to give you what you need.
If not, then you should think hard about committing your life to someone who is not meeting your emotional requirements for a long-lasting partnership.
3. Positivity and Optimism
When it comes to living a life with a partner, aim to commit yourself to someone who sees the world positively and with optimism.
Optimism is the key to resilience, and it is a quality that will help you get through life’s tougher times.
When things become tough, or even when life is good, you don’t want a life partner who brings you down with negativity, or who makes you feel bad about yourself.
At your side, you want a life partner who sees a situation for what it is, and still feels optimistic and hopeful about the future.
A positive, optimistic partner will refuel your passion, and help you to appreciate the good in your situation.
If you are a negative or pessimistic person at heart, you may want to consider working on reframing your point of view. We all experience crummy times, but the way you perceive a situation is a choice.
Remember, the law of attraction states that “like attracts like.” If you’re a negative person, you’re going to attract a negative partner, and you will live in your negative, rather unpleasant sphere.
A marriage filled with hope, optimism, and levity will be much stronger because you will bring joy, rather than gloom, into each other’s lives.
4. Financial maturity
When talking about marriage, not enough can be said about choosing a partner who is responsible and mature about saving and spending their finances.
Not enough can be said about someone who is committed to earning an income for themselves, if possible, or acting responsibly with the income you provide as a partner.
Finances and spending habits can become the source of many major disagreements between a husband and wife.
The things that we like to sweep under the rug now, such as a girlfriend’s credit card debt or a boyfriend’s lack of employment, will not go away. They will only get worse with time, if changes are not made.
Think seriously about your own financial goals, and then see if your potential future husband or wife has the maturity to help you achieve the life that you wish you live.
When you’re dating, take note of how your boyfriend spends his money. Is he a compulsive spender? Does he consistently overspend?
Find out if your girlfriend has a long-term savings account. Does she live beyond her means?
These are very important questions to ask yourself if you want to spend your life with someone.
More on KimberlyElise.com: Find out how to Manage Your Money with the Finance Bar
Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principals that guide one’s life.
Integrity breeds trust.
If you can’t trust your partner because he or she has a proclivity to lie or cheat or steal, you’re not going to have a successful relationship. Period.
Your potential husband or wife should have a sense of integrity in all circumstances, not just with you.
Why? Because their actions will affect you in a marriage. Whether it’s a matter of cheating on taxes, lying about a business, or carrying on a romantic affair, you will be bound to the actions of a dishonest man or woman.
Therefore, it’s essential to commit yourself to someone who has within them a strong sense of integrity.
This is our list of 5 essential character traits in a future husband or wife. For a successful partnership, these qualities are non-negotiable, regardless of how in love you might feel before marriage.
Some character traits are more personal. What is important to you in a partner? Share with us in the comments!
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