Traits To Look For In A Future Wife Or Husband
Love & Life Single-dom

5 Traits To Look For In A Future Wife Or Husband

What are the ideal traits of a husband or wife?

You might say, “a man who makes me laugh,” or “a woman who works out,” which is great! But, have you thought about your potential partner’s deeper qualities?

When choosing a partner, think about your potential husband or wife’s character, not just their charming personality.

A partner with a strong sense of character will treat him or herself, you, and possibly your children with devotion and respect. Here are a few non-negotiables for a future wife or husband.

By: Ajableu Oldham

5 Traits To Look For In A Future Wife Or Husband

1. Commitment To Personal Growth

The man or woman of your dreams may not be perfect. He or she might not be exactly where he or she wants to be in life, in terms of finances or career. He or she might have even made some mistakes in the past.

A partner who is committed to personal growth will develop and mature from his or her life experiences, and in doing so, will become a stronger, wiser person.

He is the man who reflects on his past actions, thinks seriously about his mistakes, and makes the necessary changes to improve his life.

She is the woman who pushes her boundaries and challenges herself to achieve her dreams.

A partner who isn’t committed to personal growth will be “stuck” in old behaviors, or an old mindset. This kind of partner will not help you grow.

When problems confront the relationship, the person who is committed to personal growth will want to work on the problems with you, at your side, rather than turn away.

When a person who is committed to personal growth is challenged with life hurdles, he or she will face them head on, and learn from them.

Being with such a partner will help you grow, too. And together, you will evolve.

2. The Capacity To Love You In The Right Ways

Rather than asking yourself if you are loveable (you are!), you need to ask yourself, “Is the person in my life prepared to love me in the way that I need?”

Some people are not prepared to love. The romance might be exciting, but once times get hard or disagreements occur, they won’t be present for you in the ways that you need.

Perhaps they are not mature enough, or perhaps they are still working through past pains.

If it’s the case, you shouldn’t waste your time. Instead, spend your time finding a partner who has the emotional capacity to love you in the ways that you need.

Do you need a partner who is capable of not yelling in an argument?

Do you need a partner who is prepared to be intimate in the ways that you need?

Do you need a partner who is prepared to talk in the ways and about the subjects that you want?

A partner who is prepared to truly love you will do his or her best to give you what you need.

If not, then you should think hard about committing your life to someone who is not meeting your emotional requirements for a long-lasting partnership.

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3. Positivity and Optimism

When it comes to living a life with a partner, aim to commit yourself to someone who sees the world positively and with optimism.

Optimism is the key to resilience, and it is a quality that will help you get through life’s tougher times.

When things become tough, or even when life is good, you don’t want a life partner who brings you down with negativity, or who makes you feel bad about yourself.

At your side, you want a life partner who sees a situation for what it is, and still feels optimistic and hopeful about the future.

A positive, optimistic partner will refuel your passion, and help you to appreciate the good in your situation.

If you are a negative or pessimistic person at heart, you may want to consider working on reframing your point of view. We all experience crummy times, but the way you perceive a situation is a choice.

Remember, the law of attraction states that “like attracts like.” If you’re a negative person, you’re going to attract a negative partner, and you will live in your negative, rather unpleasant sphere.

A marriage filled with hope, optimism, and levity will be much stronger because you will bring joy, rather than gloom, into each other’s lives.



Photo Source: We Heart It

4. Financial maturity

When talking about marriage, not enough can be said about choosing a partner who is responsible and mature about saving and spending their finances.

Not enough can be said about someone who is committed to earning an income for themselves, if possible, or acting responsibly with the income you provide as a partner.

Finances and spending habits can become the source of many major disagreements between a husband and wife.

The things that we like to sweep under the rug now, such as a girlfriend’s credit card debt or a boyfriend’s lack of employment, will not go away. They will only get worse with time, if changes are not made.

Think seriously about your own financial goals, and then see if your potential future husband or wife has the maturity to help you achieve the life that you wish you live.

When you’re dating, take note of how your boyfriend spends his money. Is he a compulsive spender? Does he consistently overspend?

Find out if your girlfriend has a long-term savings account. Does she live beyond her means?

These are very important questions to ask yourself if you want to spend your life with someone.

More on Find out how to Manage Your Money with the Finance Bar

5. Integrity

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principals that guide one’s life.

Integrity breeds trust.

If you can’t trust your partner because he or she has a proclivity to lie or cheat or steal, you’re not going to have a successful relationship. Period.

Your potential husband or wife should have a sense of integrity in all circumstances, not just with you.

Why? Because their actions will affect you in a marriage. Whether it’s a matter of cheating on taxes, lying about a business, or carrying on a romantic affair, you will be bound to the actions of a dishonest man or woman.

Therefore, it’s essential to commit yourself to someone who has within them a strong sense of integrity.

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This is our list of 5 essential character traits in a future husband or wife. For a successful partnership, these qualities are non-negotiable, regardless of how in love you might feel before marriage.

Some character traits are more personal. What is important to you in a partner? Share with us in the comments!

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  • Reply
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  • Reply
    October 17, 2014 at 5:34 am

    Over the past few days I’ve read and listened extensively and listened to a subject that I have always kept hovering just on the periphery of my vision for many years , this being THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.

    I’ve taken the time to review daily the things in my life that I do not want as a way of eliminating things that don’t build me or things that I allow make my personal space toxic. This is part of me getting to writing down my personal goals and cherishing the things in my life that make me FEEL great.

    Last night I took a step to voice my displeasure and to reject a relationship that represents all the things that I don’t want and don’t see in my vision- most of which are highlighted here. I believe in the things I am attracting as I literally tripped on this article,and it has just served to cement my convictions about the action I took.

    Thank you for a very insightful article and blog!

  • Reply
    Sac Longchamp
    October 14, 2014 at 10:49 am

    For every the over think thanks a lot anyway, My spouse and i discovered it out (for other individuals inside the exact same place only open iphoto in addition to dropbox concurrently as well as drag and drop among plans rather simple).

  • Reply
    September 14, 2014 at 6:42 am

    Thanks for sharing this…….am so sure it will help in my relationship. I love my girl friend so much that I try as much to learn new things that would improve and make our relationship stronger. Thank you.

  • Reply
    Judy Thomas
    September 14, 2014 at 12:58 am

    These tips are so useful and true, as i can see that there was non of these traits within my ex-partner . Now i feel confident in understanding the qualities that is needed for. life partner.

  • Reply
    Michelle Webster
    September 12, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    I love this.

  • Reply
    September 12, 2014 at 8:02 am

    This was very helpful. Thank you

  • Reply
    September 12, 2014 at 3:52 am

    Wow, I’m indeed inspired on how to be a good partner one day, thank you for such powerful words.

  • Reply
    Pastor J. Rouse Show/Rouse Ministries Broadcasting & Communications
    September 12, 2014 at 1:38 am

    We would love to interview you live on air on The Pastor J. Rouse Show….great topics.

    We look forward to hearing from you. Blessings.

  • Reply
    September 11, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    Based on your article, I have found this man.

  • Reply
    September 11, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    I have Gathered many list of my potential mate. I have noy been on the right path. Thank you for this.

  • Reply
    September 11, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    Thanx for sharing such informative topic, it did something in preparing me for my future endeavors. 🙂 it’s very interesting n advisable @ the same time…

  • Reply
    September 11, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    it s
    the get way to get the best partner

  • Reply
    Toney Cannon
    September 11, 2014 at 12:21 am

    We no cane an expert on what to look for it sounds like a throy base in a image when love come some times you can see and some times you don’t believe it so you started out okay but then it sounds llike control rich or poor when love comes for real you just go with it love know how to work it out so be true to thy self and self will be true to you no can tell what to do only the person knows what right for them love love love real love don’t have opinions just love

  • Reply
    Crystal M. Luster
    September 10, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    This was helpful. Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    anna magdaleno
    September 10, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    Thanks I will take your inputs and use them to help me with my mmarriage

  • Reply
    Adonis Hill
    September 10, 2014 at 11:53 am

    This is the perfect concept that has been illustrated by my Grandparents of 63 years of Matrimony. Thank you for sharing and putting these traits on document. It will help many individuals that cherish and want this for there lives including myself immensely.

    Adonis Hill

  • Reply
    September 10, 2014 at 10:25 am

    As a young woman myself reading this has really opened my eyes on relationships… I thank you

  • Reply
    September 10, 2014 at 8:14 am

    The was very helpful…. Thank you

  • Reply
    Ajia Z. Perryman
    September 10, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Thank you for sharing!

  • Reply
    Laurie Talbot
    September 10, 2014 at 7:33 am

    After twenty years of marriage and twenty nine years of togetherness, note, I am only forty nine, I am qualified give you five things to look for in a future spouse.

    1. Never go into a relationship looking for what you can get, because you will surely be disappointed numerous. Enter a relationship from the perspective of what you can offer or what you are bringing to the table. This does not only mean money. If you are male, like I am, ask yourself, what can I offer this young lady that will brighten her future, develop her talents, remove her insecurities, soothe her pain, transform her horizons, ensure her destiny, demolish her fears, support her perspectives, elevate her plateaus, and put a permanent smile in heart. If you are a woman, you should ask yourself, what can offer this man that would reassure is confidence, support his initiatives, accelerate his drive for success, relieve his burdens etc..Way too many people get into relationships looking for what they can get, rather than what they can offer. If you go into a relationship looking to get something, that’s the wrong spirit already.

    2. Before you can even love someone, you first have to respect that person as a individual with a soul, spirit and body. Way too many start relationships based on “lust”. Those relationships never last. As soon as the lustful desires ware off, that spouse would be looking for the next victim. Men must first see a woman’s soul, heart and spirit before they even consider her beauty. She is a lot more than a pepsi-cola bottle, with nice hips and a big booty sir. He is more than six feet of clay with strong shoulders and a big bank account my lady. So learn to appreciate people as human beings and not just momentary spectacles of lust.

    3. So prevalent in the american society is materialism. If the only reason you are dating me or I am dating you is because we dress nice, we have a major problem at the beginning already. What i wear does not define who I am. Where I work or the the kind of job I do does not define who I am. What I drive or don’t drive does not define who I am. Those things are just accessories. My conduct, character, self discipline, commitment, and integrity is what defines who I am. So never judge someone by their career, disposition or assets, judge them by their conduct. Character and conduct is far more beneficial than a mercedes benz.

    4. Never start any relationship by giving up all your beliefs, dreams, and aspirations. Stand up for something. You just can give up everything and throw out everything you dreamed of, believed in or aspire to be because you are in love. You would have anything to offer after that. So keep your core values and your families too. Anyone who wants you to disown your family is not for you. Unless your family is the Mafia.

    5. Continue to pursue your own dreams and aspirations and motivate and encourage your intended to do the same. Keep faith, God and prayer in your lives at all times and you will be blessed.

    I hope my contribution helps someone.

    Mr. Laurie Talbot
    Brooklyn, NY
    Age 49
    20 years of marriage and 29 years of togetherness to the same woman.
    Pentecostal Christian

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