A wise woman once told me, if you want to know how a man will treat you, look at how he treats other people – especially women.
I take this into consideration each time I explore dating. It is important for me to know that the person I invest my time in has the utmost respect for those around him. It is especially important for me to know how he treats the women in his life, like his mom, for an example. I believe that how a man treats his mother is telling of how he will perform and act in a relationship with you. If you’re fortunate enough to see how his relationship is with his mom (or any other woman, for that matter), take notes.
By Erika Hunter
Let’s not just consider his mom, here (even though that relationship is a huge indication of who he is).
Instead, open your eyes to see how he interacts with everyone. Is he a gentleman or a complete snob?
Does he usually listen to people in conversation, or does he just want to be heard? These are important questions, ladies. The answers to these questions could potentially help you in making the decision of whether or not he’s the one.
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Now, don’t get me wrong. We all have faults. No one is perfect and I’m not suggesting that he will be. However, you cannot let his slip-ups linger on. Call them out for what they are and hold him accountable to changing his act (if this is the one that you desire to be with).
Take a moment and think about whether his interactions with people are valuable or that of a red flag.
Allow me to give you an example of a red-flag interaction. I’m sure you’ve heard this one before, but hear me again when I say that the way he treats that waitress at the restaurant is revealing.
If he’s talking down to that waitress because she failed to get his order correct, that’s a red flag.
If he’s calling her names as a result of his anger, that too, is a red flag.
Or if he ignores her while she continues to do her job, checking on you two, that is a red flag.
Just as the old adage goes:
If someone is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, they’re not a nice person.
A person should not change his or her character based on the weather. What does that mean? It means that if he changes the way he treats someone based on the status of the person he’s interacting with, he’s not a keeper.
Just a few of the various lessons in love.
That is a Big. Red. Flag.
We often ignore red flags because we don’t want to believe them for a number of reasons, but we need to be in tune with reality.
You cannot live your life, basing your love relationship on someone’s potential, because though potential is great, it is not tangible.
It is important that you hold onto what is done or not done, what is said or not said, and how he made you feel or not feel.
Is it true love or just an attachment? Find out here.
Listen to your intuition.
It will tell you all you need to know in order to move forward or draw back. I hope you will find a love that is respectful to everyone in his community. If you do, you will never have to question whether he respects you or not. A man’s love for those around him will seep into his romantic relationship a hundred times over.
What are some of the signs that you will now look for as you pursue dating? Share with us in the comments!