My friends and I were talking about the qualities you should look for (or be wary of) when you’re in a relationship.
Sometimes, you get so caught up in giving and loving, that you overlook some critical signals that the relationship needs to end. If you need some guidance, read our Lessons in Love post. And while you’re at it, here are 4 signs that you should end your relationship.
1. His ex calls him nonstop and he doesn’t set boundaries.
When a couple has broken up, it’s over. Period.
Exes do not usually remain close friends, and if they do, they give each other space.
If your man’s ex is calling him and popping up out of nowhere, it means there is still unresolved energy between them.
If he’s over her, he’ll put her in her place, and eventually she’ll move on. However, if he’s answering her calls, having long conversations, arguing, or meeting her in private, RED LIGHT!
Make a U-turn and head the opposite direction!
2. He tells you he’s not looking for anything serious.
This is an important lesson every man and every woman must learn early in the dating game:
A person tells you exactly who they are in the beginning.
They tell you who they are through their actions (they’re late for a date, they don’t call when they say they would), through stories (they cheated on their last partner, they stole from a friend in college), and through their words (“I’m not looking for anything serious right now”).
It’s up to you to believe them. Do not think that you are special – or worse – that you can change them. You’re setting yourself for months and possibly years of wasted energy.
And don’t forget these 4 Lessons About Men.
3. He says he’ll call and then he doesn’t.
Sure, the guy could be busy, but if he says he’ll call and then doesn’t, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re possibly becoming involved with a man who isn’t true to his word or who doesn’t have the same feelings.
If a man really wants a relationship with you, then he will call, even if it’s just to say a quick hello. No one is too busy make a quick call between meetings, or even send an apology text to reschedule a time to talk.
On the other hand, has he proven himself and done right by you? Here are 7 signs your relationship ready for the next step.
4. He tells you everything about his ex.
Now, you should definitely explore the happenings of his past relationship. It’s even normal for your man to initiate a conversation about an old flame, and perhaps work through old questions with you.
However, if you know everything about his ex : her shoe size, favorite color, family history, where she worked right out of college, her new man’s name, her new dog’s name – then you need to cut all ties with this man. He is still emotionally attached to her.
Not to say you can’t pick back up with him after he’s dealt with his feelings about his ex, but you don’t have to be around while he does!
If you do, you’ll start to develop a weird relationship dynamic that is very difficult, if not impossible, to shake.
The best thing you can do to speed up the process is to let him learn himself and grow from the experience so that he can fully let go of her and focus all his energy on you.
Do you feel like you’re both in it for the long haul? Here are 5 tips to nurture a positive, healthy relationship.
What are your red flags to end a relationship? Men, please respond, too!