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Love & Life Romance & Relationships

4 Signs You Should End Your Relationship

My friends and I were talking about the qualities you should look for (or be wary of) when you’re in a relationship.

Sometimes, you get so caught up in giving and loving, that you overlook some critical signals that the relationship needs to end. If you need some guidance, read our Lessons in Love post. And while you’re at it, here are 4 signs that you should end your relationship.

1. His ex calls him nonstop and he doesn’t set boundaries.

When a couple has broken up, it’s over. Period.

Exes do not usually remain close friends, and if they do, they give each other space.

If your man’s ex is calling him and popping up out of nowhere, it means there is still unresolved energy between them.

If he’s over her, he’ll put her in her place, and eventually she’ll move on. However, if he’s answering her calls, having long conversations, arguing, or meeting her in private, RED LIGHT!

Make a U-turn and head the opposite direction!

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2. He tells you he’s not looking for anything serious.

This is an important lesson every man and every woman must learn early in the dating game: 

A person tells you exactly who they are in the beginning.

They tell you who they are through their actions (they’re late for a date, they don’t call when they say they would), through stories (they cheated on their last partner, they stole from a friend in college), and through their words (“I’m not looking for anything serious right now”).

It’s up to you to believe them. Do not think that you are special – or worse – that you can change them. You’re setting yourself for months and possibly years of wasted energy.

And don’t forget these 4 Lessons About Men.




3. He says he’ll call and then he doesn’t.

Sure, the guy could be busy, but if he says he’ll call and then doesn’t, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re possibly becoming involved with a man who isn’t true to his word or who doesn’t have the same feelings.

If a man really wants a relationship with you, then he will call, even if it’s just to say a quick hello. No one is too busy make a quick call between meetings, or even send an apology text to reschedule a time to talk.

On the other hand, has he proven himself and done right by you? Here are 7 signs your relationship ready for the next step.

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4. He tells you everything about his ex.

Now, you should definitely explore the happenings of his past relationship. It’s even normal for your man to initiate a conversation about an old flame, and perhaps work through old questions with you.

However, if you know everything about his ex : her shoe size, favorite color, family history, where she worked right out of college, her new man’s name, her new dog’s name – then you need to cut all ties with this man. He is still emotionally attached to her.

Not to say you can’t pick back up with him after he’s dealt with his feelings about his ex, but you don’t have to be around while he does!

If you do, you’ll start to develop a weird relationship dynamic that is very difficult, if not impossible, to shake.

The best thing you can do to speed up the process is to let him learn himself and grow from the experience so that he can fully let go of her and focus all his energy on you.




Do you feel like you’re both in it for the long haul? Here are 5 tips to nurture a positive, healthy relationship.

What are your red flags to end a relationship? Men, please respond, too!

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12 comments

  1. Qualicia says:

    I think this is a wonder website! This is exactly what’s needed. I’m 19 yearsold and “Red light” topic explains exactly what I’m going through. My main thing is , is that my heart is confused. I don’t know if I should give my ex a second chance or not cause I do not want to get hurt again. In my eyes, I believe a relationship is not all about SEX. There is so much more important things than SEX. I don’t want to feel used and abused and unwanted. I want to feel loved for who I am, not for SEX. There’s so much that men and woman need to learn. Love is so much more…

    1. CaSandra says:

      Your right there is more to a relationship than sex. If that is the majority of your relationship then you might want to take a break and see what you want and what your ex has to offer. I have been there. My ex and I dated for 3years. I grew as a young woman and I wanted more from our relationship. I tried to make it work and ignore signs. I eventually broke it off. I hope this helps. I’m 21 FYI…

  2. Rhonda Smith says:

    Awesome information. I tell my friends the same thing. I’ve had enough experience throughout my relationships and can definitely ready. Great job

  3. Anqunette says:

    Those signs are all so true! I was once in an abusive relationship and he had all those signs plus more! I’m happy to say that my children and I are safe in an new state. I’m Never looking back! Thank God for his Mercy!!!!:-)

  4. Natasha Denia says:

    I totally agree with your red lights. So many times we ignore red flags thinking things are going to change. Sometimes we just don’t want to be alone. You are on point and compassionate. Thank you.

  5. marvin mcghee says:

    Qualicia, baby girl,
    You are 110% correct! A relationship, isn’t a relationship until a friendship is developed; that’s ALL it is a friendship.
    The problem with young people, people in GENERAL to be frank, is they have the whole dating/ relationship ordeal BACKWARDS. What am I saying? People’s first reaction to the opposite sex is attraction. Two people meet, have small talk, not really finding out what’s in the mind and heart of the other person. You have a couple things in common, for instance: like the same music, movies and food you following me? Oh this is my soulmate you tell yourself, mind you you’ve only known each other for 3weeks.
    One month two weeks go by, you’ve been intimate with your soulmate on numerous occasions, yet you’re feeling empty, lonely for some reason. You want to talk to that soulmate, but they’re unavailable, but a friend will make time for you.
    Friendship is the first relationship two people of the opposite sex should build upon. During that building process each should be transparent in regards to their dreams, goals and asperations.
    Now during this time, what is the person doing at the PRESENT TIME? Young Adults, teenagers, however you label yourself what I’m about to reveal to you is VERY REAL! DOES THAT PERSON HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA? DO THEY WORK? DO THEY HAVE THEIR OWN PLACE OR DO THEY STILL LIVE WITH THEIR PARENTS OR PARENT? DO THEY HAVE THEIR OWN TRANSPORTATION? BOTTOM LINE ARE THEY INDEPENDENT?
    If they’re not solely taking care of themselves, how can you possibly fathom them taking care of YOU?
    It takes GOD, employment, common sense and money to survive. Is impossible to live off love. Sex depletes the energy; nutrients from the body. What replaces those deficiencies? Yes, food and rest, but FOOD and that calls for money which the only legal way to obtain it is being gainfully employed.
    So baby girl, focus on YOUR DREAMS, YOUR GOALS, YOUR EDUCATION, those boys can wait and young men, that goes for you as well, this can be played out either way.
    Put God first in your life, search him out and he’ll order yoursteps.
    MEACHE God Speed

    1. Tonia Royal says:

      Hello miss Ellis, I agree with all of your red flags I also have a red flag for you if you’re dealing with a man who is constantly telling you what he just won’t deal with or put up with but he can do it to you, its a no no, to me that is someone who is possessive, or may think that he is better than you are. If you deal with someone who expects you to take all of his sorry’s but won’t accept yours red flag. Another red flag, if you explain and apologize for an incident and he continues to question you after you explain and apologize, red flag. This is sign of hurt that’s not fair for you to deal with.This is another time when the person has to work through that on their own because if you try to help them through it, trust me you are going to pay dearly for what the other person did.
      Signed,
      Tonia Royal, AFan.

  6. Motho says:

    you know dated a guy who would not stop talking about his ex… ooh my ex hurt me, ooh i hate my ex, ooh my ex changed the game for me, or i love my ex, ooh my ex this, my ex that… I solely believe it contributed to our arguments and eventually our downfall.. she didn’t threaten my confidence on anything, i just felt that he never really dealt with his anger and frustrations towards her, he needed closure and he never got it and now he is stuck in the past. i learnt the hard way that guys like that cant move on, or enjoy what is in front of them.

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