It was Thursday 5:55 pm, the clock in the classroom was ticking louder and louder by the second and the children were yelling and running all over the classroom.
Truth is, I allowed the children to play for the rest of the day because I couldn’t wait for 6 pm to hit so I can see my friend named Tone. Tone was supposed to hang out with me later that day, but right before I clocked out, my supervisor informed me of a last minute staff meeting. I gave my supervisor an excuse for not attending the meeting; I had plans! Tone and I barely get to see each other and I really wanted to spend some time with him.
As I caught the train home from work, I hurried home, ran upstairs, took off all my work clothes and hopped in the shower. Next, I put on a nice outfit, makeup and perfume, only to take a look at my phone to see a text from Tone saying, “ I can’t come today, let’s hang some other time.”
I was really disappointed because this wasn’t the first time he’s canceled. He always cancels and makes up some excuse on why we can’t hang out. I felt even worse because I lied to get out of work just so I could see him. I didn’t want to make it a big deal because he’s just my friend, but I wish he knew spending time together meant a lot to me. At that very moment is when I realized, I was in the “Friend Zone.”
I’ve had a crush on Tone since I was 19 and now that I am 25 those feelings haven’t changed. He’s smart, funny, charming a true gentleman and I love the way he makes me feel when I’m around him. I’ve dated other men throughout the years, but I’ve always had a deep connection with him. We could talk about anything, especially love, not sex, and for me that was just fine. That alone gave me the impression that there was sparks between us, but I guess not.
One day, I finally worked up the courage to tell Tone how I felt, but he rejected me as kindly as he could. Basically, he never gave me an answer; his actions spoke louder than his words. Yes, I was sexually attracted to Tone in the beginning, like how a lot of co-ed friendships start off, but unfortunately it blossomed into a one-way love affair.
Being in the friend zone sucks. In contrary to popular belief, men aren’t the only who can be in the friend zone, women can too.
There are so many people like me who simply fell for someone who didn’t feel the same way about them. It’s an awful position to be in, however I respect the honesty.
Some people would rather use that person’s devotion and kindness for personal gain. While dating, we have to set boundaries, have integrity and maintain confidence. We all are human and we make mistakes but I empathize with every individual who has experienced being in the friend zone, it is a sensitive subject that is simply overlooked.
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